AU: DestielLife As We Know It
by castielandhisassbutt
Summary: Told in the Destiel style with special Sabriel mentions. The storyline has been tweaked a bit with certain things dropped that were in the movie.


In the beginning, they had never gotten along. In fact, they had actually been set up by both a family member and a good friend. And it had seemed like the biggest mistake. The second Castiel had opened up the door, he could not stand Dean in the least. He had a scruffy look about him and he looked like a complete misfit. And Dean? Dean thought Castiel looked a bit too proper. They both _hated_ each other. It was most certainly not the best match that had ever been put together.

Dean had led Castiel towards the car, both of them walking side by side, "So, what do you do for a living?" Castiel asked Dean, taking in the leather jacket and faded jeans. It was strange to see, and he was dressed in a casual black button-up shirt with an off white shirt beneath - though, one could not see it. The man had the buttons done up right below the neck, leaving one undone. He had on black slacks to go with the get up. He'd nearly worn a tie. And this man? He made him pretty damn glad he hadn't gone with the idea.

Dean had been late anyway - which Castiel had been told by Gabriel that Dean had a bit of a reputation for doing things like that. He had brushed it off and took his time getting ready, assuming that would work. And in the end, it had. When the doorbell had rang, he'd been set. He opened up the door, looking forward to meeting someone new, only to be led to the disappointment by what he saw. The introductions had been awkward as it was... Castiel knew this night would not end well. But he could at least be polite and humour his friend, right?

"I'm a mechanic over at Winchesters Ltd.," Dean said, a hand leaving his pocket as he opened up the fence gate for Castiel, "Here you are," he said. Castiel was shocked as he nodded his head in thanks. He didn't expect the man to do that. Sure, he had a cute face, but still. The assumptions were still lingering inside his head irregardless. He looked around, his eyes growing curious now.

"So, where's your car?" he asked, looking to Dean after spotting all the usual cars he was used to seeing. But his attention was brought to the vehicle he had somehow missed. He raised an eyebrow to the.. well, it wasn't exactly a vehicle. He nearly twitched to the motorcycle in front of him. A motorcycle? He didn't do well with them. Loud and just.. they freaked him out. He couldn't help the fear he had with motorcycles, could he? He didn't like them in the least.

"Here," Dean said, passing over a helmet to Castiel. He looked to the helmet in his hands and swallowed hard. He looked up as Dean pulled his own helmet over top of his head and looked to him, "Well, come on then!" Dean said, a smile on his face.

Castiel looked down to his clothes and the helmet as the engine fired up. He quickly snapped a look to Dean, "I don't thin-" he was cut off by the sudden roar of the engine. Dean looked to Castiel, clearly having not heard what had been said, "I am not exactly dressed for that," he said a bit louder. Dean still didn't hear - and just as the man killed the engine, "I don't think I am quite dressed for that!" he yelled, then realized the engine was off. His cheeks flushed and he coughed awkwardly.

"Oh, well.." Dean didn't know what to say as he removed his helmet and got off the motorbike. What would they do then?

"I'll drive!" Castiel said, smiling awkwardly as he gestured to an incredibly small vehicle, "It's new, and right over there!" a red smart car. Dean felt the vomit curl inside his throat. He took his own turn swallowing hard. This was not going well at all. And he was trying to think of a quick way to get out of this. But he didn't see any way of getting out of this little arrangement that had been made by his friend. What made anyone think he would be a good fit for someone like Castiel? Maybe he was a good lay?

And then they both found themselves inside the red smart car and feeling incredibly uncomfortable, "So, where do ya wanna go?" Dean asked half haphazardly, eying Castiel. And immediately after he asked the question, he felt the air grow heavy around him. He just wanted to hop outside the confined vehicle and enjoy the open air. That was why he loved that bike. It was open and free. He _loved_ freedom.

Castiel looked to Dean in shock, noticing the gritty look on his face. It was clear that the man before him was a mechanic, "You.. never made the reservations at the restaurant like you said you were going to?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. He nearly groaned, but he bit back his frustrations. He was painfully hoping the seemingly moronic man before him was joking.

"I was just sort of thinking we could go somewhere and just squeeze in at some table, how does that sound?" Dean asked, smiling from cheek-to-cheek. Castiel opened his mouth to say something, and then Dean's phone went off, "I'll just ignore that, don't worry about it," he said, some classic rock song singing through the pocket of his leather jacket.

Castiel huffed a bit and was more so thinking how that phone call could be some sort of scapegoat and just them out of this whole situation to begin with - but that would be rude, wouldn't it? "Go ahead! Answer it if you need to, I don't mind," he said politely, nodding to Dean. But the song continued as the man in the passenger seat shook his head to the negative. Of course he would be polite here, "Really, go ahead."

"No, well, alright," Dean said, mainly doing it to get rid of the phone call. Whatever the guy might say, Dean knew he was not happy about the phone call from what he could tell. He just wanted to be free of this, "Y'ello?" he said into the phone, eying Castiel briefly with an awkward glance, "Ah, yeah. Now's not a good time," he said a bit more softly. Castiel raised an eyebrow, glancing away now, trying to ignore the phone conversation, "How about.. we make it for eight instead?" he asked quietly.

Now Castiel was looking at Dean again in mild shock. Had this man already planned to go see someone else? "Yeah, yeah, okay... _baby_," he said in an incredibly small voice. Castiel caught it though and he was not impressed in the least. He narrowed his eyes a bit as Dean hung up the phone and shoved it away in his pocket, "So?"

Castiel chuckled sarcastically, shaking his head, "You know, this isn't really working out, is it? So, whatever future engagement you had planned, you can go if you want," he placed both of his hands in his lap timidly, annoyed by Dean's mannerisms. He truly did not understand how someone could be so misshapen like Dean. It didn't make sense - but then again, he'd met some real winners in the past.

"Well, you do have a point," Dean said bluntly and began to open the door.

Castiel laughed now, "Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Seriously?" he looked towards Dean who stopped, looking back to him.

"What? This clearly isn't working like you said. What's the point in continuing with this? I knew from the moment you opened up that door you didn't like me," Dean said, smirking a bit. They both knew he was right though.

"So? Shouldn't we just entertain the idea and suggestion considering they are both our friend?" Castiel suggested, "Wouldn't it be polite?"

Dean shook his head, turning to face Castiel slightly, "Why? So we can force out some mindless small talk we both don't want to hear? Why bother?" Castiel didn't know what to say. And in fact, it had made his night even more awkward after Dean had left. He never wanted to see him again - ever. After Dean had disappeared, he'd gone back inside his place and kicked off his shoes in a mild fury, glaring at the wall across from him. He never wanted to see Dean Winchester again.

But, it didn't work out that way since Gabriel's partner was Sam Winchester; Dean's brother. Dean was Sam's best man at the wedding. And Castiel had been Gabriel's best man as well. It had been awkward and Castiel could not be near him. During the speech, Dean had interrupted Castiel twice my taking the microphone. He'd also been caught making out with a _female_ worker. Castiel couldn't believe the nerve of this man! And Dean? He just thought Castiel was way too uptight and fun to mess with.

Though, all that put aside, the baby that Gabriel and Sam had adopted had been incredibly adopted. They had adopted a baby girl who had just been born and they had been able to name her. Her name was Mary. She was adorable, and one thing Castiel loved most when Dean was around the baby was watching the imbecile get puked on. Which was what had just taken place after the millions and millions of warnings from Gabriel.

"She's in a puking phase, Dean, you may not want to do that," Sam suggested, watching as Dean stood by the bouncing castle. He was holding Mary, smiling at her and making odd sounds. Dean had suggested it would be fine, that bouncing her up and down in his hands was fine. She was a year old now! He didn't see any harm, "Seriously, Dean. You can think you are good all you want, but sh-"

"Ah, she's fine, Sammy!" Dean called, chuckling as he stepped onto the bouncing castle with her. Sam knew this wasn't a good idea - and he was smirking as his brother stood stupidly in the child plaything with his daughter. Gabriel was inside with Castiel, continuing their setup for the birthday party for Mary, "She loves this! Look at her!" Dean laughed as he bounced himself gently on the bouncing castle, moving her up and down in his arms as well. He turned his head to look at Sam and opened his mouth to say something, only to here a hiccup and then get thrown up on.

"He was vomited on," Gabriel questioned, looking to Sam curiously while Dean wiped his shirt off with a cloth. Castiel was chuckling, unable to help himself but to laugh at the other man's misfortune, "Of course," he shook his head, looking to Mary who was sitting with Castiel. He smiled, "Good job," he teased.

Dean rolled his eyes, "It's disgusting," he sighed, looking to Sam who was smirking.

"Hey, I warned you," Sam said in defense.

Castiel shook his head, "You could say he got his '_Just desserts_.'"

Dean frowned, moving to the other side of the island table and stood behind Castiel, allowing the other man to smell the stink coming from his shirt, "Oh really?" he could still taste it in his mouth, and that was the most disgusting part of it all. He had washed his mouth out with salt water and with hot water a bunch of times - and he could still smell and taste it.

"Sam, let him use one of your shirts in the mean time, please?" Gabriel asked politely.

Sam nodded, shaking his head as the doorbell rang. He looked towards the door, but Gabriel had already disappeared to go and get it, "That's probably the babysitter," Sam said, looking to Dean and Castiel.

"The babysitter?" Castiel said, one hand gently rested on Mary's back, the other playing with the girl's fingers mindlessly. It felt nice to have the baby in his lap, he would never deny it. He thought Mary was so incredibly adorable - and he found it oddly cute how Dean got when he was around her - baby vomit or no baby vomit. Though, the baby vomit had been an added plus... but then he started to smell the vomit on Dean and it was beginning to weaken his stomach.

"What do you need a babysitter for?" Dean asked.

"She's brilliant~! We like to call her the baby whisperer," Gabriel said with a smile as he entered the room again.

"She hot?" Dean asked suddenly.

Castiel rolled his eyes as a young girl came in the room, "Mary!" the young girl said, moving towards the baby Castiel held. They all looked to her, Castiel and Dean especially. They were both shocked by how young the girl appeared to be. And they called her the baby whisperer? The girl took Mary from Castiel, smiling, "Let's go get you changed, shall we?" she said, turning and leaving the room.

Castiel couldn't help it as the girl left, looking to Gabriel and Sam, "She's your babysitter? The '_baby whisperer_'?"

Gabriel smirked, "She's a goddess when it comes to Mary. She's the only one who can calm her down when she gets into one of her fits," Sam nodded to this, now looking towards Dean - right, the shirt. He moved to leave the room, waiting for Dean to follow.

"You smell like baby vomit," Castiel said, groaning a bit.

Dean smirked, "Oh, sorry, do I?" he leaned in towards Castiel from behind, but Castiel quickly tipped forward, chuckling and letting out a disgusted sound. Sam sighed, shaking his head as he walked away and Dean followed. Castiel looked to Gabriel, then to Sam and Dean as they left. Why couldn't Dean just be a nice guy all the time? It couldn't possibly be that hard...

During the entire party, Castiel felt like he was surrounded by a bed of couples - which was usually what happened at a birthday party for a child. He had to admit though, seeing all the couples with their children? Definitely cute. He stood by the kitchen, watching as people ate the cake he had baked for the occasion. He was, after all, a caterer. And he was damn good at his job too! That's how he felt about it anyway. He just felt incredibly out of place amongst all the couples. He didn't have what any of them had, and he didn't know if he did want it.

Dean, on the other hand, was out back, meeting different people he didn't recognize at this little birthday party, "And the sex? I'm telling you, there's no sex. We used to have sex all the time!" he nodded awkwardly to the man talking to him about his personal life. He didn't really know what the hell else to say here, "But then the baby needs to be fed. And the child has to have slept the previous night, or else you are _exhausted_," the man continued.

Castiel was now on the couch, having been summoned over by a woman with a baby in a baby-carrier sitting next to her, "You're the caterer, correct?" the woman asked. Castiel nodded, munching on some of the smaller goods that had been made up as he looked around. The woman chuckled, "Well, you're baking is just to die for!" the woman said, laughing. Castiel responded with a small amount of laughter as well, "Are you with anyone? You have to be with cooking like that!"

"Hey!" someone said from behind Dean and the other man.

The man that had been giving away massive details about his sex life with his partner turned and laughed, leaning in towards Dean, "Uh-oh! Busted!" he mumbled out. Dean didn't understand.. at least.. not until the man came over and had a baby in his arms. The man Dean had bee speaking with gestured towards him, "This is my partner, Michael," he said with a smile. Dean nodded, feeling extremely awkward now, "This is Dean, Sam's brother," the man said, looking towards his partner with a smile before looking back to Dean, "And this is our son, Adam."

The woman - Ellen was her name - had gotten into gabbing about her children and how her husband was a doll. But she'd also asked if Castiel was with anyone, "No, it's just me," Castiel had assured, chuckling awkwardly all over again. That's all this small party seemed to be was one big pile of awkward. He hadn't felt this out of place in such a long time. And he couldn't have been more happy when it was time for the cake.

And Dean had felt the same way as the cake was brought out and everyone sang happy birthday. It truly was a good moment though for all of them. Castiel and Dean were both asked to be a picture with Mary, which they had happily obliged to, smiling for Sam - who was taking the picture. And it worked out to be a good photo with Mary smiling as well! Until Mary whacked Castiel in the face with her stuffed animal she'd been holding.

Castiel had always been patient with his love life, always hoping that he would meet someone special. And he never knew when it was going to happen - until a certain someone had been coming inside the shop from time to time. He knew what he man's name was and every time he came into the bakery he worked at, he took off the ugly cap that he normally wore. He wanted to look good for the man, wanted to get noticed. And he knew his coworkers knew this as well. They always teased him for it. But could they blame him? The guy was quite the catch in his eyes.

So, when Balthazar came into the store that day, he knew exactly what the man was going to order, "Yes!" he said as he came up to the counter. He was always wearing a black blazer with some type of v-neck shirt underneath. He liked the look of it on this man, it was somehow endearing and he could not put his finger on why, "I'll have a-"

"Let me guess, a free-range turkey on a baguette?" Castiel said, smiling brightly to Balthazar. He normally was not forward like this, but he had been single long enough. He wanted to throw himself out into the playing field again. All the months he'd spent alone and now it was spring time all over again? What the heck did he have to lose besides his dignity and any respect he still had for himself?

"I'm getting predictable, huh?" Balthazar said, letting out a bit of a chuckle.

"Heh, well, I like to think of it as dependable," Castiel said, chuckling as he placed both hands on the counter that stood between him and the man he'd been fantasizing about for way too long now, "It's been thirty-five of the same sandwich."

"Hm, you're counting?" Balthazar said, raising an eyebrow.

"Ish," Castiel suddenly said to save himself, "Thirty-five-ish!" and now he had gone and dug himself a hole. As Balthazar smiled, he knew he needed to get himself out of this damn hole, so he began to move behind the glass counter area where some of the food was on display and the different options, "You know, there are other things on the menu if you ever wanted to try something else," he suggested, glad to find a way to change the topic. Ah, the joys of food.

Balthazar was beginning to get intrigued by the man before him, "Surprise me."

Castiel was congratulating himself on the inside for reeling the guy in - the guy he'd been watching for a while, "Okay! Great!" he said, "Do you like croissants?" he asked as he reached forward to grab one. Balthazar nodded, watching him curiously. Castiel was beginning to feel nervous though. He wasn't usually such a joker with the people he liked. But he didn't mind it - not now.

"How come you don't wear one of those white coats with your name on it?"

Castiel had wondered when that question would come up as he prepared a new type of sandwich for the man, "It's Castiel," he said, turning to look to Balthazar.

"Castiel," Balthazar repeated with a small smile, then looked to him, "Balthazar," he said, as if Castiel had never known what it was - but he had. Balthazar stretched out a hand towards him and Castiel graciously accepted the hand.

"Nice to meet you," Castiel said, his smile growing with each second. Had he even stopped smiling since Balthazar had walked in?

"We met thirty-five-ish sandwiches ago," Balthazar teased.

"Thirty-six now," Castiel retorted as he returned to the sandwich. All he could think about was how he was now joking - well, flirting in a cheap way - with the man he'd been watching for some time now, and it felt so damn amazing. It was different than anything else and he was so happy to have that. He was so thankful to be able to do something like this and feel so damn relaxed. He didn't get that feeling often. Not often at all.

"Thanks, keep the change," Balthazar had said after accepting the bagged sandwich from Castiel.

"Oh, thanks," Castiel said, taking the money that was being held out to him. And this was where they said goodbye, wasn't it? He needed to find a way to keep him close for just another moment, just so he could take in the man's scent, "Uh.. You sure you don't want to throw your name into the bowl?" he suddenly asked, remembering the small draw the bakery had going on, "Winner gets a free lunch," and now he looked down, dealing with the cash. Had that been weird?

Balthazar walked back to the counter, pulling out his card to hand over to Castiel, "How about a free dinner on me?" and then he dropped the card into the pile of other cards. Castiel looked down to the bowl of cards and names, waiting patiently for Balthazar to leave so he could grab the card - which was exactly what he did. The second the man was gone, he was fishing through the bowl to grab his card like no tomorrow.

Later that night, Castiel was at home, taking a bubble bath strangely enough. He found them soothing and relaxing - especially when he was dialing the number of a man he'd been asked out by. Balthazar's voice mail came up and he found himself leaving the most estranged message he had ever left someone, "Hi! Balthazar? This is Castiel from the Angel Food Cake's bakery," he took in a small deep breath as he eyed the business card in his hand, "You left your card inside the bowl for a free lunch today and I'm really hoping I picked up the right card because you asked me out and if I have the wrong number for some strange reason, then I'm really screwed because-"

But as Castiel continued to ramble on, a beep on the other line cut him off, "Oh! Sorry, call waiting!" he told the voice message and flipped to the other line. His face paled as he sat inside the tub though, his mind and heart both beginning to race against each other as he got out of the tub as quickly as possible. He didn't bother emptying the water - no. He just dried off after hanging up the phone and tossing it to the floor - and then he was out the door in seconds.

As Castiel trotted up the steps to the hospital, his heart was wrenched against his chest. He was sweating from nervousness and he didn't know what to think as he walked through the front doors and to the desk. What had happened? He didn't know. He didn't know if he wanted to know. Everything had been going so good! He felt his heart drumming against his chest as he leaned forward, "I-I'm l-looking for an Officer K-Kripke," he choked out, his words pure violence against his thoughts.

And as he stood in the hallway, speaking to the officer, he wondered if Dean knew. Where Dean was? He didn't know what to think as the officer explained what happened. And he must have looked pale as he thought about little Mary, "Are you sure you wouldn't like to sit down?" Officer Kripke asked him.

"They have a baby girl," Castiel muttered out, one arm folded against his chest. His hand was just below his trembling lips, curled into a fist. He couldn't look the cop directly in the eye. Hell, he couldn't even think straight. He felt weak in the knees and he didn't know what was going to happen now. He was terrified, "Mary. Was she in the car?" it had just dawned on hi and he stood up right, fighting the tears that threatened his face, "Was she in the car with them?"

"No," Officer Kripke replied, "She was in the car of a minor," the baby whispered, "A babysitter," the girl who was incredible with Mary, "At the time of the accident," but Castiel was now choking back tears. Sam and Gabriel had died in a car accident. The vehicle had flipped. And now Mary was alone and without her two parents. Without the two men who were raising her so beautifully, "So, the officers placed her with CPS for the night. She's perfectly fine."

"CPS?" Castiel asked, wiping at his eyes as he looked to the cop.

"Child Protection Services. Where they take cases like this."

Castiel didn't understand, "Cases like this?"

The officer hesitated for a moment before continuing, "Orphaned children."

Castiel couldn't control it anymore. He turned towards the wall, both hands at his lips. He was trying to keep calm, but the tears were flowing. He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't believe it. Why? Why should he believe such a perfect family had been torn apart so quickly, so lifelessly? He choked back his tears again - but he couldn't do it. He just couldn't keep himself from crying. Mary was orphaned. She didn't have Sam or Gabriel's love anymore.

When Dean showed up, Castiel was just on his way to meet him. He didn't know how to tell Dean his baby brother was dead - that both Sam and Gabriel were dead. It wasn't fair to either of them and it wasn't fair to poor Mary. He hiccuped, looking towards the man as he entered, not knowing where to go, "Dean," he said in a solemn voice, earning his attention.

When Dean saw Castiel's dark face, the broken face, he knew it deep down inside himself. But he didn't want to admit it. No words were exchanged between the two as Castiel stared at Dean, tears spilling from his eyes again. He shook his head in the negative, looking towards the ground now. He bit his bottom lip, his shoulders beginning to shake. He was trying not to sob - he knew Dean would be hurting more.

Dean didn't know what to do as he looked to Castiel. His brother... was... he stepped forward, moving towards Castiel as his face paled. The second he got close enough, Castiel found himself embracing the man he loathed. Sam and Gabriel were dead. What else was there than that? But even as Dean returned the hug, they both had the same thought go through their minds in the midst of their sadness.

What about Mary?

Both of them returned to the house that night - to Sam and Gabriel's home. They were both silent, not knowing what to say. But they both knew what they wanted to do. They wanted to bring the baby home - wanted to bring Mary back to the people she knew, not with some strangers.

Castiel was the one to talk on the phone, standing up on both feet as he practically seethed into the phone, "I do not care what your protocol is! I don't understand why we can't see her tonight!" Dean was sitting on the couch. He'd been nothing but silent, except for the moment when they had decided to call. It had been a decision they had made together, and a decision he knew would change their lives. It had him terrified. But he was also thinking about Sammy.

He was thinking about how he had taught Sammy a lot of the things he'd learned in life. Dean had shown him how to swim, he'd shown him how to throw a football. It was all the small things he remembered. He remembered Sam giving him shit for sleeping with his prom date all those years ago. And he definitely remembered all the prank wars they had. Hell, they would still do them to this day. But not anymore. Sam.. Sam was dead now. He didn't have what they used to have. No, now he had a bunch of broken memories that would haunt him every damn day.

"They won't do anything until tomorrow at eight when their business hours start," Castiel said, smacking his hands down at his sides. He was frustrated and confused and upset. And he knew he wasn't the only one - in fact, it freaked him out just how calm Dean was. He just didn't know what to say to the man other than he was sorry - and he sure as hell wouldn't say that.

"It's okay," Dean finally said, "I'm sure she's fine. Look, why don't we stay here the night, that way we're here when they call," he suggested, eying the couch, "I'll stay on the couch," and now he was wondering if he would even sleep at all. Castiel was thinking the same thing as he nodded, "You can take the guest room," Castiel nodded again and disappeared upstairs.

Dean went to the couch though and laid on it, feeling something underneath his side. He felt underneath, feeling something soft. When he pulled it out, it was a duckling stuffed animal. The same one that had whacked Castiel in the face at Mary's birthday. He chuckled to the memory, curling up on the couch as he tossed it aside. He could feel a couple tears escape, but that was all he would allow. Yes, he was upset, but he knew he needed to stay strong for both himself and Mary. He knew things weren't going to get any easier from here.. and he knew what Sam would want.

When morning came, Sam and Gabriel's lawyer came to talk to the both of them. The discussion led to revealing that both Dean and Castiel had been named to be Mary's guardians in the event of their death - which did not sit too well for the both of them.

"I'm sorry."  
>They spoke in unison.<br>"I'm sorry."

"We're not even together."  
>"They tried setting us up on a blind date."<p>

"He is just such a dick."  
>"We never even made it to the restaurant."<p>

The lawyer tried to comfort them, telling them they could say no. They both knew it was a life altering thing. They weren't ready to start a family - and they definitely did not want to start a family together. They wanted to know their options. They wanted to know all the roads available to them. Dean wasn't ready to be a father - hell, his brother had just passed away! And Castiel? He didn't know if he could put up with Dean for a lifetime. And then the lawyer mentioned family.

"I don't think so."  
>"That would work!"<p>

Castiel shook his head, "Just let me stop you there. What if one of us were to say.." he held out both hands, placing them on the table that stood between the lawyer and himself and Dean, "Take Mary on our own?"

"Or both of us, hypothetically?" Dean said, mirroring Castiel's sitting posture.

The lawyer went on to explain that the house was covered by the estate and that they didn't need to worry about anything else just yet. But he suggested moving into the home - the both of them - for the next while for Mary, "You want us to live here together?" Castiel cooed, his words nearly dripping with disbelief. Dean looked to Castiel and then to the lawyer. Oh yeah, he could see this going over well. Cas and him living it up inside his brother's home. They could barely stand each other!

But when they both went to pick up Mary from CPS, Dean watched as Castiel took Mary into his arms, holding her close as the small child began to cry into his shoulder gently. Castiel tried to soothe her, gently rocking back and forth. Dean felt his eyes growing watery and he got up before he began to cry, moving to Mary and Castiel. He smiled, stepping close to the both of them as Castiel turned to face him, "Look, it's uncle Dean," he said with a small smile.

Dean watched as Mary held out both hands towards him, grabbing at his shirt. Castiel leaned towards him, handing her over to Dean. As he took her into his arms, she calmed instantly, resting her head against his shoulder. There was no going back now. This was it - this was the life they would begin to lead. But he also realized as he held onto baby Mary that he hadn't thought this through - fear was beginning to set in.

With Mary back home, Dean was watching as Castiel tried to feed her. She was crying and was clearly hungry. Dean shook his head, listening to the blender finally die down, "You know, she's not a critic," Dean muttered out, taking a sip of the glass of orange juice. Castiel ignored Dean, continued to prepare Mary's lunch, "Sorry, Sophie. We'll feed you soon. Hopefully before you're two," Dean said, leaning back against the counter. Castiel rolled his eyes, grabbed a bowl and then pulled at the drawer for the utensils. But it didn't open right away.

"You really think this is right for her, Cas?" Dean said, watching as Castiel finally figured out the child-proof drawer, "You can't even figured out a child-proofed drawer," and now he was being a dick, "I'm just thinking about what is best for Mary," and how she could end up like Sam and it would kill him inside. It would be beautiful - but he wasn't ready for this kind of responsibility. He didn't know if he ever would be.

"You're just doing what's best for you," Castiel shot back, putting some on the spoon as he knelt before Mary's highchair, "Hey, Mary~!" he said in a soothing voice, "I've got some lunch for you!" he said, trying to maintain the chipper levels. Dean watched as Castiel tried to spoon feed Mary - and it failed. Mary started crying again and was turned her head away. All Castiel did was spread it across her face, which had the baby more frustrated.

Dean sighed, turning and grabbing some cereal from the cupboard. He opened up the small container and walked over to the highchair just as Mary spit the baby food Castiel had made onto his face. Castiel sat back, a blank expression on it as he watched Dean poor the cereal onto the highchair - Mary grabbed it and ate a few pieces instantly. He looked down to Castiel and shook his head, "Do you really think we're what's best for her?" and then he walked away, setting the container down on the kitchen counter.

The funeral was the hardest thing for Dean. He couldn't explain what it was feeling inside him, but it was definitely something dark; something Dean did not want to face, that much was certain. He would have to for the baby, he knew that. But was this what he wanted? Surely not. And as everyone got out of their vehicles and headed to towards the site, he felt like he was choking on his words. No one could tell, because he stood there in mild silence, accepting hugs and words of condolences. What was he supposed to do with his best friend and family gone?

Castiel had made all preparations for the funeral. He'd even gone as far as to cater to the event as well, making all the goods. His mother, Adelle, had come to help lend a hand during the small get together Castiel had organized. Dean had been helpful to a degree during this, but Castiel tried not to bother Dean too much. He knew Dean was grieving just as he was. Though, he also knew it was harder on him. Dean and Sam had been so close...

But they also had discussed what they were going to do about Mary.

Castiel looked to his mother as he reentered the living room, walking over to her casually, "Do you mind just holding onto her for just one more moment?" he asked politely, looking to the smiling Mary. She was completely adorable and Castiel had fallen in love with the child the moment he'd first met her. He just didn't know how Dean felt, but he knew it would be for the best in the end. They just needed to go through with their plans.

Dean was in the kitchen, taking a drink from a glass of water when Castiel came into the room, "Hey," he said, earning Dean's attention. Dean looked over to him and nodded, polishing off the glass before setting it in the sink. This was going to be more difficult than he thought. But giving Mary to another family member would be the best thing they could ever do. The only thing was Dean didn't really know their side of the family all that well or Gabriel's. He had been a bit of a black sheep.

"There's lots of people," Dean said, nodding to Castiel.

"I know. We just need to find one," Castiel reassured, but this sounded easier than it actually was.

The first couple Dean and Castiel spoke to were Dean and Sam's cousins from across the country, "How come we've never met?" Dean asked curiously. Castiel nearly elbowed him in the side when the pair looked to him, but he refrained. It wasn't exactly shocking that Dean didn't know them. Castiel was aware of Dean's place in the family when it came to these sort of things. It seemed unfortunate it to him - he didn't know what it was like to be so displaced from his family because he wasn't. He loved his family and was close with his mother.

"We've met," both cousins said in unison.

"Oh," Dean replied, feeling awkward.

There was a bit of a shrill cry as one of their kids came flying down the stairs, running at full speed, "Beth, get down!" the father said, turning to face the children hanging around the stairwell. Both parents chuckled as they looked to Dean and Castiel, "We have eight kids," he said.

"Eight?"  
>They spoke in unison.<br>"Eight?"

Castiel was then speaking to a single woman who had come on behalf of Gabriel, "I was touring Atlanta, actually," she said with a smile. She was blond and rather gorgeous. And from what Castiel had gathered, she seemed to be pretty stable. He was liking the things he was hearing - and not only that, she seemed really friendly. This was a definite plus on her side.

"Oh? Would I know anything you're going to be in?" he asked curiously.

The woman nodded, "Well, I'm going to be a Juggles tonight," she said, looking towards the ceiling in thought. Castiel was now having a heart attack - _Juggles_? He didn't even hear the other two she mentioned. This woman was an exotic dancer on tour. Lovely. Mary would definitely not be going with someone who was exotic dancing. He didn't find that a really good example on a baby girl.

The both of them then spoke to Gabriel's father, Mary's grandfather. He sat on the couch opposite to them and had an oxygen tank hooked up to his nose. But he was friendly and kind and Mary was definitely taking kindly to him as she smiled up at him from her place on the floor, "So, you have a house in Miami, correct?" Castiel asked as Dean sat there awkwardly. He'd never actually met the man. He hadn't been present for the wedding for a reason he couldn't quite remember.

"Yes," he said.

"Because were thinking that..." Castiel looked down as Mary began to crawl over towards her grandfather and he couldn't help but to smile. She was so adorable, how could he not?

"We were thinking that since you are her grandfather, that you could," Dean broke in, only to jump when Mary pulled out the cord from her grandfather's nose, breaking the direct line of oxygen.

"Oh, Mary! No!" Castiel said, getting up and grabbing the cord from her hands. Dean was right next to Castiel, helping the older gentleman get the cord back to his nose, "Sorry," Castiel said as he stood upright with Mary. They both looked to each other once her grandfather was alright; this was proving to be even harder than they had imagined.

That night, after everyone had left and Mary was in bed, both Dean and Castiel sat on a small couch, relaxing after a long day. Dean noticed Castiel's appearance though, mainly his posture. His arms were crossed and he looked very disappointed. He let out a small sigh, putting his feet up on the table, "Well, we could always go with the eight kids family and make it nine. They clearly know how to keep a child alive," he said, earning a small smile from Castiel.

"The stripper seemed nice," Dean continued, giving his own smile now. Castiel just looked at him, "Yeah..." he shook his head, "And the grandpa's a definite no?" he suddenly said, looking to Castiel. Castiel only nodded, "Heh, we're screwed," he said, looking to the beer he held in his hand. He took a drink from it, truly wondering what the hell they were going to do.

The court hearing had completely baffled Dean. He had no idea it would be so simple! It was like the case meant absolutely nothing to the judge or the lawyers or to anyone. Sure, he didn't understand all the legal crap and what-not, but he didn't understand how people could just let it slide so easily through the system. They hadn't been asked any questions, they hadn't been investigated! Hell, he didn't know what the frig to think at this point. He was just glad to be back at the house.

"It's like they don't even care. It's just BOOM, next case," Dean said, kicking off his shoes carefully as he held onto Mary. Castiel sighed, ignoring Dean's over exaggeration on the situation, "Oh, you want a kid? Here's one. Oh, we got extra, why not take two?" Dean said, mocking the system as he stepped further into the hallway. He turned to face Castiel, eying him curiously, "A girl says to me, '_No, Dean. It's okay, forget the condom!_' and I say no and use it anyway, and I still end up with a kid!"

Castiel opened his mouth to say something in response to Dean's little tantrum he was having, but suddenly Dean let out a small dry heave, "Oh, oh, what is that?" Dean said, looking to Mary. Castiel watched as Dean sniffed at Mary and then suddenly handed her over to him.

"What?" Castiel asked, "Did she finally poop?" he smelled her as well and choked on the air a bit, laughing slightly, "Oh, Mary..." neither of them had changed a dirty diaper on Mary yet. This was the first time for either of them. And as they both stood inside Mary's bedroom, eying the child before them, neither of them wanted to change the diaper. Not a poop-filled diaper anyway.

Dean looked to Castiel as they stood there, "Well, there you go."

"What?" Castiel said, looking to Dean.

"I'm not changing her diaper," Dean said firmly.

Castiel scoffed to this, "And why should I?"

"Because..." Dean didn't know if he should finish that sentence or not.

"Because what?" Castiel said, crossing his arms.

Dean patted Castiel on the shoulder, "Because you're more in tune with this stuff than I am. So, get in there," and he was glad for the small save he'd just made on his own account. He had originally planned on saying that Castiel was way more feminine than he was, but he had the eerie idea that Castiel would hit him or something for saying such a thing to him.

Castiel grimaced, glaring at Dean, "I am not changing diapers for the next two years," he seethed out.

Dean rolled his eyes, "Okay, okay, fine."

"So, **_you_** get in there," Castiel said, mocking Dean by patting him on the shoulder now.

"Easy. It's not that.." Dean took in a deep breath, dropping his sentence as he stepped forward towards Mary.

"It's something you can take off the checklist, Dean," Castiel said as he covered his mouth with a hand. Mary really did stink, and he was highly amused with the fact Dean was actually going along with this, "Check!" he said, smirking through his hand.

Dean ignored Castiel as he reached forward and took hold of Mary's diaper, touching the straps that held it together. He felt extremely awkward - this was his first time changing a diaper. He had never wanted to change a baby's diaper before. He didn't even know he ever wanted to have kids. Yet, here he was, a baby right before him with a man he could not stand.

"What are you doing?" Castiel asked, watching Dean carefully.

"I don't know!" Dean snapped, "It's not a bra I'm taking off some chick, okay? It's a diaper I'm taking off a baby."

"It's not rocket science."

"Is there a box I can read?"

"Just take the tabs off, Dean," Castiel rolled his eyes, "See those little tabs? Undo them." Dean just as Castiel said and undid the tabs carefully, withdrawing the front of the diaper. He instantly curled back, trying to prevent himself from throwing up as he made a gagging motion, "Oh, gross!" Castiel said, turning away from it as he heard Dean's gag, "And don't do that!" he smacked Dean on the shoulder, "You're going to make me throw up!"

Dean was trying not to throw up himself as he looked to Mary, "It's like _Slumdog MIllionaire_ in there!" he was freaked out by what he was seeing, "She didn't eat enough to produce that! She ate, like, two pieces of macaroni!"

"She's getting it in her toes!" Castiel said, smacking Dean's shoulder again.

"Alright! Give me the wipes!" Castiel grabbed one and handed it to Dean, "Give me another!" Dean said, "And another!"

"Get it out of her toes!"

"What? It's like a damn poop suit," Dean said, only to hear the doorbell ring. He quickly took the opportunity to leave the room.

Castiel groaned, "Dean! Don't leave me in here!" he then looked to Mary, stepping forward as he grabbed the wipes. Of course Dean would leave the second the doorbell rang. Of course he would leave him to clean up Mary. Of course he wouldn't do his part. Of course he would be left to do all the dirty work. But he didn't blame Mary, know. He smiled the whole way through the stink and mess, chuckling as he fitted the diaper back on her and got her clothes back on.

When Dean came back upstairs, he entered the room, "Hey! The whole block's... come..." Dean stopped, noticing a smudge of something on Castiel's face. He blinked, tilting his head a bit in confusion as he looked to him.

"What? She's perfect, no thanks to you," Castiel said, lifting Mary up.

"C-Cas, you have a-"

"Save it, Dean," Castiel said, walking forward and handing Dean the baby, "You big coward," and then Castiel left the room. How was Dean supposed to tell Castiel he had a smudge of baby poop on his face if he wouldn't listen? He watched as Castiel headed downstairs and sighed, adjusting Mary in his arms as he followed the man. This was definitely going to be interesting.

As Castiel came downstairs, everyone looked to him and smiled, "Hey!" they all said cheerfully. He was actually glad to have guests. It kept his mind off of Sam and Gabriel. And he wondered how Dean was doing with everything... the man had a tendency to keep things to himself it seemed. Though, it wasn't like he expected Dean to just become his best friend or anything.

"Hey! I wasn't expecting you guys," Castiel said with a smile, but everyone had fallen silent, "What?" he asked, worried something was really wrong.

Ellen was amongst the group there and she looked to Castiel and gestured to her face, "Sweetie, you have shit on your face."

Castiel immediately touched the cheek without it and looked to his hand. He saw nothing and touched the other cheek, fear raking through his body like no tomorrow. He felt his hand squish against it as he withdrew his hand and he felt his stomach curl. Dean was standing next to Castiel with a smug grin on his face as he watched the man turn around and quickly run back upstairs. He had tried telling him.

The next while things got interesting. They both learned how to deal with Mary, taking turns soothing her when she woke up during the night. Castiel didn't think it was possible for the both of them to get along like they were, but here they were, getting along. Hell, they were even laughing as Dean held Mary up and Castiel held the hose to the shower, rinsing her off. Dean got sprayed by the hose and chuckled, "Think we can shower the baby and not me?"

Castiel smirked, singing as he moved along, "Showering Mary," he sang, "Time for the rinse," he continued, spraying Dean again. Mary let out a giggle as Dean sighed and chuckled. And that was how it went, just all three of them living together and having fun. Castiel hoped it didn't change - but he knew it was only a matter of time. He wished he didn't have that gut feeling inside his stomach, but he did.

One night, Mary sat in the tub, eyes on Castiel. She had a straight face as her cheeks began to turn pink and Castiel immediately stood upright, "She's making the poop face," he said, looking to Dean.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, looking to Mary, "No she's not."

But Castiel was already grabbing Mary from the bathtub, "No, she is. That's the poop face, Dean. Get.. get the toilet!" he said as he moved towards it. Dean fiddled with the clasp that held the toilet seat down but found he was having difficulties. Castiel groaned and handed Mary to Dean, "Let me do it!" he said, rushing to get the seat open. But he couldn't do it. The seat wouldn't lift.

"You have to lift the handle there."

"I am trying!" Castiel said, looking to Dean. He quickly grabbed the hat off of Dean's head and held it under Mary.

"No! No! Not my hat, come on!" but it was too late. Mary let out a small fart and pooped straight into Dean's hat. Castiel couldn't help but laugh and hold the hat out as Mary finished, "I've had that hat since high school!" Dean said.

"I can.. wash it," Castiel said between laughs, slumping against the wall behind him.

Dean rolled his eyes, a smile crossing his lips, "Oh yeah, it's so funny."

"It kind of is," Castiel said, looking to Dean. And as he looked to Mary who was in Dean's arms, he realized something was wrong with Mary. He blinked, double checking to see if maybe it was just him, "What is that?" he said, pointing to Mary's stomach.

Dean adjusted how Mary was sitting and looked to her stomach, "That's just her belly button, isn't it?" he said, giving a small shrug. He didn't know anything about child anatomy.

"No, that's not normal," Castiel said, his tone growing slightly more concerned.

"Maybe it's just an outtie?" Dean suggested.

Castiel shook his head. They would be taking Mary to the doctor's office - which turned into just him going with her. Dean had work or something to do. He didn't know what. Either way, he didn't mind taking her to the doctor's. It was a nice little getaway for the two of them. Even if it was to the pediatrician's office.

Though, Castiel wasn't fond of sitting inside the room, waiting for the man or woman to come inside - until he realized who it was as the man came inside. It was Balthazar. He sat upright, watching as he came in, looking to Mary with a smile - and then he noticed Castiel as well, "Well, hello there. I heard about what happened, and I'm very sorry for your loss," he said immediately.

Castiel nodded, barely hearing the condolences as Balthazar began working around Mary, listening to her heart beat through her chest and through her back, "She's had fairly regular bowel movements. Definitely regular. We just noticed the bump on her stomach and.. I just.. it wasn't us, was it? It wasn't my fault?" Castiel said suddenly, beginning to grow anxious.

Balthazar chuckled, laying Mary down on her back and taking look at her belly button, "No, I would definitely say that's a hernia. They generally go away on their own. Why don't I schedule you to come in a week from now? The both of you?" he asked, looking towards Castiel, only to blink in confusion.

Castiel had begun to cry suddenly, "I'm always terrified. And I'm living with the jerk who can't.. and I just.." his shoulders shook and his hands connected with his face, "I don't know.. I don't even know what I'm doing, you know? It's terrifying," he sniffled through his hands, feeling his palms grow damp from his tears. Balthazar stood up right, looking down to Mary who was laying there quietly, a small smile on her face, "I'm afraid I'm doing something wrong. And Gabriel and Sam? They always had everything planned out!" he laughed to this.

Balthazar remained quiet as he filled out a piece of paper, "You'd think they would leave someone else to this responsibility - not the two people who loathe each other most! We can't stand each other! Not the guy who was supposed to take you out on a date and screwed that up and now you have hate him with everything you are! Where's the planning in that? Where are the ethics?" and then he realized he'd been rambling. He looked to the hand outstretched towards him with a piece of paper in it and he took it, looking to it, "This is a name of a brand of wine," he said, looking to Balthazar.

"I would say two glasses would do you good, and some rest," Balthazar gave Castiel a smile and nodded to him, "None of it was your fault, what happened with Mary? Now, both of you, go home. Get rested! And I'm sure everything will be alright with Mary."

Castiel sat the kitchen table, the exact bottle of wine Balthazar had suggested sitting on it. He had a glass and it was half full - or empty, however someone wanted to look at it. He hadn't exactly had a couple glasses. The bottle was nearly half gone when he heard the door unlock. He turned around, a smirk plastered against his face as Dean came inside the house with Mary in his arms. Castiel chuckled and turned back around. Dean looked towards the chuckling man, not saying anything as he took Mary straight upstairs.

Castiel didn't have a clue what he was doing. He swirled the glass, downing the rest of the wine inside it right after. He could hear Dean's footsteps as he came back downstairs and he glanced behind him, unable to help himself from chuckling again as the man came over to him.

"How's that wine treating you?" Dean asked, curious to Castiel's drunkenness. The man before him was usually the smart one and the responsible one. It was interesting to see him all indifferent and seemingly more open.

"Treating me?" Castiel said, "It's treating me a lot better than you do," he laughed. Dean frowned to this, "You know, you are such an asshole. You are a horrible person," Castiel said, not paying much mind to anything he said. Dean frowned a bit, his face falling into a solemn expression. Because this was something he wanted to hear from a drunk man not long after his brother had died.

Dean took Castiel by the arm, "Come on, it's bed time for you," he said, helping Castiel to his feet.

"No, seriously, Dean! You really are an asshole," Castiel said, laughing again.

"Wonderful. You are a blunt drunk," Dean said, sighing as he led Castiel to the stairs.

"What? It's true. I've loathed you since the first day we met," Castiel looked ahead, tripping over his feet a bit as they reached the bottom of the stairs, "I had just gotten out of a three year relationship. Had my ass dumped by her," he coughed a bit, not looking forward to the stairs as Dean began to help him up them, "And then Gabriel set me up with you and you were definitely not what I expected."

Dean was finding himself horribly hurt by what Castiel was saying, and it was shocking to him, "Come on.. Let's just get you to bed."

"Where's Mary?" Castiel suddenly asked, freezing halfway up the stairwell.

Dean sighed, "In her bed," and then he continued leading Castiel up the stairs. He didn't have a problem tucking the man into his bed, listening to more insults than before. But he had to let it go - this was the alcohol messing with Castiel. Right? He didn't know. Dean frowned, leaving the bedroom with a small sigh of relief. There wasn't much else he could do besides what he did for Castiel - but what if Castiel had been telling the truth? Sure, they didn't get along. But was it really _that_ bad? Was he truly that horrible of a person?

In the morning when Dean woke up, Castiel was already awake. He rolled over on his brother's old bed, staring at the wall across from him. He let out a sigh and looked up towards the ceiling. He had to work today. They both did. He heard his cellphone ringing though and he was sitting up, reaching over and grabbing it from his jeans on the floor. He looked to the number on the screen and raised an eyebrow. It was his boss.

Castiel adjusted the tie around his neck, grabbing his blazer off the back of the chair as he looked over to Mary. She was sitting inside her playpen happily playing with her stuffed duck. He smirked to this, turning around when he heard Dean coming down the stairs. He had a big smile on his face when he came around the corner and Castiel couldn't help but raise an eyebrow to this, "What?"

"I'm running the place today," Dean said, doing an odd victory dance as he came down the hallway. Castiel stood straight, chuckling a bit to the strange man, "So, I need you watch Mary today, okay?" Dean looked to Castiel, nodding to him.

"No, I have the dance to cater, I told you this," Castiel said as he shrugged on the blazer.

"What? No you didn't," Dean frowned, not happy. This was his big break. He ran everything going on down at the shop today while the boss was out. He'd been waiting for this for a long time. And now he got the chance? This meant that he was doing more than just going underneath. He was at the desk today. He controlled the flow and would actually talk nice to the guys there. His boss was kind of a dick to one of them and Dean hated it.

"Yes, yes I did. It's on the board," Castiel said, motioning to the whiteboard they had set up. Both of them had put it together as a way to keep track of who was doing what on certain dates so that they could make sure someone was always around for Mary. And in the event they weren't, they called someone to babysit. Usually the nice girl that Gabriel and Sam had.

Dean groaned, looking towards the board. This was bad, "Can't you-"

"No. Try calling around! There's lot of parents we know in the neighbourhood," and then Castiel was snagging the keys, kissing Mary on top of the head, and heading out the door. Dean heard the door shut and frowned. He needed to call everyone he could think of and quick. His eyes fell upon Mary who let out a giggle suddenly and he sighed.

"Why do I feel like this isn't going to work in my favour?"

Not long after, Dean was sitting in the back of a cab, just getting to work. He looked to the driver, a good friend of his and nodded, "Thanks a lot, Bobby. I just need you to do me one more favour," he said, leaning forward against the back seat. Bobby glanced to him and raised an eyebrow, "Keep the meter running and I'll help you with the old beater. I'll still pay you for the cab as well," his eyes glanced to what sat beside him in the back of the cab, then he looked back to Bobby.

"Yeah, alright," Bobby said, shrugging. Dean nodded, patting Bobby on the shoulder, and then got out of the cab. Bobby blinked and heard a coo as Dean walked away and he looked behind him, "He forgot the baby," and then it clicked and Bobby hopped out of the cab, "Dean!" he called and walked towards him, "You forgot the baby! You forgot your baby!" he yelled.

Dean winced and turned back around, walking back towards Bobby quickly, "Double the rate, Bobby! I'll pay double, okay?"

Bobby shook his head, "No, no way, Dean. I'm not babysitting!"

"You have three kids of your own, don't you?" Dean asked, wondering if it is was because he was nervous.

"Yes, who I love dearly because they are _mine_," Bobby shook his head, "I _hate_ other kids cause they aren't mine."

"I'll give you my wallet."

"I don't want your wallet."

Dean sighed, "Please, Bobby! I need this!" but Bobby shook his head. Bobby wasn't going to do it. It wasn't happening. Dean groaned and went to the back seat of the cab and got Mary out of it. This was going to be bad - but maybe she'd cooperate or something. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he thought?

Later during the day, Dean looked to Mary as they sat in his office. Things had been going pretty damn well so far and he was glad. Bobby had left, but he would be back to get Dean towards the end of his shift. But Dean was about to run into a problem and he knew that. It wasn't like he could take Mary into the garage with him, could he? He groaned, only to hear a giggle come from Mary. She was playing with her stuffed duck and a couple blocks on the floor. It was nice and it was peaceful.

One of his coworkers came running into his office, "Hey! Dean! We ran into a bit of a hilt on Zachariah's car, can you give a hand?" Dean looked to Mary on the floor and then back to Chuck, his coworker, "Please?"

"I can't just leave Mary in here. What's wrong with it exactly?" Dean asked, gritting his teeth.

"It's the engine. Samuel messed it up and now it's triggering a bit of a backfire," Chuck said carefully. He could tell Dean was stressed and he didn't blame him.

"Stay here then," Dean said, getting up from the desk and making his way towards the door.

"What?" Chuck sounded freaked out, "With Mary?"

"Yes," Dean said, brushing by Chuck, "Don't worry. She's not crying. She's got her duck, it's alright," he said reassuringly. Chuck looked towards Mary who was cooing on the floor, laying on her back as she smashed the blocks down from the small tower she'd built. Why didn't this plan seem workable?

As Dean got underneath the car, taking a peak, everything seemed to be going well. He'd been underneath the car for about twenty minutes when Chuck came up over the speaker and called for Dean. All that could be heard was crying in the background - but it overlapped Chuck's voice. Dean groaned and slid out from underneath the car. He got to his feet, looking over to Chuck on the other side of the window.

"Mary won't stop," Chuck said, his voice sounding desperate. He took a glance behind him, "Crap!" he said. Dean frowned and waved to the other guys, saying he'd be back in a second as he headed towards the office. When he got inside, Mary was sitting on the ground, looking up at him. He knew the look in her eyes and sighed.

"She's got a dirty diaper, doesn't she?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Chuck said nervously.

Dean rolled his eyes and stepped forward, picking Mary up. He didn't mind changing the diaper for her, but the second he was done and he turned around, Chuck had sneaked out of the office. He didn't blame him - but they still needed help on Zachariah's car. He had just about an hour left. Maybe he could take her out into the garage and they'd be alright. Then again, he had a funny idea that he was fooling himself like he had been this whole time. Having Mary with him at work was going to get him into major shit later. He knew that.

When Castiel got home, he opened up the door, hearing nothing but silence. He smiled to this, glad to hear it. It was a nice change. Besides, he'd had an amazing day and evening with the catering event. He shrugged his blazer off, hanging it over his arm as he trotted upstairs silently. As he came around the corner, he could hear some quiet singing and he raised an eyebrow, getting curious.

As he approached Mary's room, he could see Dean sitting on the rocking chair, a very unimpressed expression on his face as he held her in his arms, singing softly, "_But I'm a creep, I'm a winner_," he breathed out softly, looking down tot he baby in his arms. His eyes lifted to meet Castiel's as he noticed him standing, "_What the hell am I doing here?_"

Castiel's eyes narrowed slightly as Dean's tone of voice changed. He knew things were rough, but singing that to Mary? "What the hell are you singing?" Castiel seethed out, his voice quiet so that he didn't wake the baby.

"_I don't belong here,_" Dean sang, watching as Castiel rolled his eyes, watching as Dean got to his feet and laid Mary down. He turned around to face the man, a very displeased look on his face the entire time.

"You know," Castiel started, "Would it kill you-"

"Sh!" Dean said.

"You sh!" Castiel said, frowning, "Would it kill you to brighten the mood?" he whispered.

"Yeah, it might," Dean snapped back in a whisper as well.

"Oh come on."

"Why should I pretend to be happy when I'm not?" Dean shrugged out, "I'm miserable," he stated in a soft voice, "Let me be miserable."

"It's depressing."

"I don't care," Dean said, moving out of the baby's bedroom.

Castiel followed Dean, "You know what?" he started, closing the door behind him before facing Dean again, "I'm so sick of all your dark comments," and it was true. He'd had enough of listening to the man before be such an asshole. He wasn't the only one that was suffering, and he constantly felt like that was what was going on.

"I ruined my life for her," Dean said, leaning forward a bit.

Castiel scoffed, "Oh, Dean, I'm so sorry that parenting wasn't as fun as you thought it was going to be-"

Dean cut Castiel off, "Yeah, you were happy to get rid of your old life because your old life _sucked_."

"My old life didn't suck!" Castiel said defensively.

"Uh, yeah it did," Dean turned and began to walk away, not wanting to deal with this crap tonight. He'd had enough go wrong. He'd gone ahead and made the mistake of allowing Mary into the garage and she'd managed to hit a button, dropping the car. No one had been hurt, but the car was now more damaged than before and they wouldn't be getting paid as much now. In fact, if Zachariah found out, they would be sued.

"No it wasn't!" Castiel said, following him, "I was my own boss. I made my own hours! I had free time!" he said, gesturing to each point with his hands.

Dean turned around to face Castiel, standing by the stairs as he laughed sarcastically, "To do what? Bake more?"

"Oh my god," Castiel rolled his eyes.

"You have no idea what a great life is, Cas" Dean said, shaking his head, "I had a great life. I worked on cars for a living. Guys **_or_** girls would buy **_me_** drinks," he chuckled stupidly again, "They would throw themselves at me. You see this shirt?" he said, grabbing hold of the collar of the black button up he was in. Castiel looked to it, trying not to care, "I slept with the girl who sold me this shirt."

"You're disgusting."

"You know how people say you can't have it all?" Dean continued, "Well, _I had it all_! And it was _awesome_!"

Castiel smirked, crossing his arms, "Of course, you think _that_ is awesome," he watched Dean turned towards the stairs, only to look back, "Because all you care about is getting laid. Even Gabriel was embarrassed by you because he was _TWICE_ the man you are!" Castiel finally snapped.

Dean stepped forward, watching as Castiel crossed his arms again, taking in a deep breath. He sighed, trying not to be hurt by the words that were just said to him, "You know, you should probably go get laid yourself," he looked down, then back to the man, "But in order to do that, you need to find somebody who can stand you first," and then he turned and began to walk down the stairs.

Castiel narrowed his eyes and breathed out, "Fuck you."

Dean stopped on the stairs and gave Castiel the finger, breathing it right back, "Fuck you."

Castiel waited a split second as Dean went downstairs before following. As he got to the bottom of the stairs, he watched as Dean pulled on his leather jacket. He sighed, "You know, you shouldn't be riding a motorcycle. Your kid's parents died in a car accident."

Dean froze with the door open, thinking for a split second. He finally turned around and approached Castiel again, "She's **_NOT_** my kid," he said firmly, his voice beginning to break, "She's not my kid," he said again, his voice softer than before.

Castiel looked stunned by Dean's words, "Then who's kid is she?" Dean didn't say anything. He turned and walked out, slamming the door behind him, leaving Castiel just standing there.

Dean went for a drive, thinking about what had been said to him. About what he was doing with his life. His drive took him straight to a bridge not far from the house. Dean pulled over, killing the engine to the bike and pulling off his helmet. He looked towards the bridge and walked over to the edge of it, resting his hands on the railing as he peered over. He didn't have a damn clue what he was doing. He groaned and kicked at the ground, cursing no one in particular.

He looked up towards the sky, running his hands through his hair, "What am I supposed to do?" he asked, hearing some of the passing vehicles behind him. Dean frowned, looking back towards the motorcycle. Of all the things that could have been said to him... he knew that Castiel was pissed, and he didn't blame him. Truthfully, neither of them should have said any of the words they spoke to each other. But they were both stressed and frustrated.

What else was he supposed to do? He didn't have the patience for parenting. This wasn't what he was supposed to do. This wasn't the plan. This was NOT how he had envisioned everything going. He wasn't supposed to be a father to his brother's kid. Sammy was supposed to be raising Mary. He was the father type. He wiped at his eyes, withdrawing his hand to look at the water now there. He looked up at the sky, then realized he was crying. He was being an idiot. He needed to go back. He needed to apologize - do _something_.

Dean knew that both Sammy and Gabriel would be kicking him in the ass. Sam always had a way with keeping him in line most of the time, and here he was, pissing all of that away. Mary was just a baby. This wasn't her fault. He was just freaked out and he was nervous. He needed to go back. He couldn't run away. But he was so terrified of everything going on. And Castiel? Hell, he didn't even know where to begin on that subject. He grabbed the helmet from the ground and pulled it back over his head. He needed to go back.

When Dean came back, Castiel had the television on. He hadn't been able to lay down until Dean came back. He felt horrible about what he said. His eyes met with Dean's for a split second and he felt the guilt wash over him and he looked down, "I'm sorry, Dean," he breathed out quietly, "I didn't mean it," and he truly didn't. He felt like the world's biggest ass for bringing up Sam like he had.

"It's alright," Dean said, taking a seat next to Castiel on the couch. He was silent, both of them staring at the ground. Castiel didn't know what to say - he didn't know if he was supposed to say anything. But then Dean spoke up, breaking the unwanted silence and heavy tension, "When I was seventeen I broke my back," Castiel stayed looking at the ground, listening to every word, "And Sam spent that whole summer in my room with me watching movies."

Castiel looked to him, a small smile on his face. Dean had never spoken to him like this, not ever, "Everyday he sat with me. All my friends and his friends were off to the beach or chasing girls or whoever. But he stayed with me the whole time," Dean couldn't look at Castiel as he spoke. Not yet, "I can't leave him when he needs me. Even if he's gone, I can't abandon him."

Castiel looked to the disc cases in front of him and then let out a small chuckle, gesturing towards them, "I dug up some of their old home movies.. Cause.. I just wanted to hear their voices," Dean glanced to them, nodding. Castiel chuckled again, "I found this one, you know? You've got to see this," Dean sat back against the couch, watching the video.

It was a video of Sam and Gabriel bringing Mary into her bedroom for the first time. As Sam held onto Mary and stepped into the room, Gabriel was filming it, "_What do you think of the clouds?_" Gabriel asked from behind the camera. Sam stopped when he got a couple feet from the bedroom and sighed.

"_You were supposed to paint this three days ago. It smells like paint fumes_."

"_It's fine! It's not wet in here_," Gabriel said, setting the camera down on something as Sam looked to him.

"_Mary can't stay in here, Gabe_," Sam said, eying him.

"_Why not? I wouldn't put her in here with wet paint! It had time to air out!_"

Sam frowned, "_And when did you ever paint a cloud in your life?_"

Gabriel chuckled and touched the walls, annoyed, "_See? It's not wet. And I over saw the clouds being doing._"

"_Wonderful. You over saw it_."

"_What? Me and the other guy talked about it as it happened..._"

"_She can't stay in here tonight_," Sam said and walked out of the room. As Gabriel was in tow, Castiel reached forward and paused it, looking to Dean.

Dean blinked, confused at first, "So, what you're telling me is that it's okay we're horrible parents and we want to kill each other half the time?" he asked, chuckling a bit. Watching the video had nearly made him want to cry, but he kept it together, looking towards Castiel. As frustrating as things were, it actually wasn't all that bad.

"Two thirds," Castiel laughed in response to Dean's comment. He looked to Dean though, smiling a bit, "Actually, I think we just need to stop trying to fit ourselves into their lives."

"You know I hate this place?" Dean said, eying the walls around them. Castiel couldn't help but to chuckle, "It's like a freaking mausoleum in here." He took in a deep breath, letting out a sigh, "And there's pictures of them _everywhere_," Dean couldn't help but to gesture to a painting on the wall and cringe a bit, "And I really hate that cowboy painting."

Castiel looked over towards it and nodded, "It's really creepy, isn't it?"

"I want it out."

Castiel looked away now, thinking as he spoke, "If we're going to live here," he started, taking in a small and shaky breath, "We need to stop tip toeing around like they are coming back soon when they're not coming back," Dean nodded to this, looking to Castiel. He stretched out his arm, placing it behind Castiel and touching his shoulder with his hand. He pulled Castiel towards him and Castiel followed, leaning right into Dean and resting his head against his shoulder.

The next day, Dean and Castiel began packing up things in the house that had belonged to Gabriel and Sam. They wanted to turn it into their own home. So, they spent the next while making it such. They even had the photo of all three of them from Mary's first birthday party blown up and hung it over the fireplace. The house would be turned into something they wanted. Something the both of them were comfortable with. Something that made them both _happy_.

Castiel had spent the last while trying to help teach Mary to walk. He'd read in the books that at fifteen months, they should be walking already. It worried him when Mary hadn't begun walking yet - but Dean had assured him that Mary would start walking when she had somewhere to go. And sure, that was logical, but he still couldn't help but feel the pain of wondering why she wasn't walking yet. He just wanted to be a good parent - it was something they both were trying to do.

He leaned back in the bathtub, trying to keep himself relaxed. He'd had a rough day at work. Mary had been crawling everywhere and they had a lot of remodeling going on. Castiel was trying to expand the bakery - and with Mary tagging along with him to work, it had proven to be more difficult than expected. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath as he relaxed. Nothing had gone wrong, it had just been difficult.

"Castiel!" he suddenly heard Dean scream his name.

"What?" he called back.

"She's standing! She's about to walk!" Dean cried out.

Castiel groaned, "Now?" he said, leaning over the tub to hear better.

"HURRY UP!"

"SHE CAN'T WALK NOW!" Castiel cried out. He couldn't miss this! He snagged a towel from the bathroom and quickly wound it around his waist, giving himself a quick towel dry before running out of the bathroom.

"She's about to! Get down here!"

"Alright! Hold on! I'm coming!" Castiel said as he headed downstairs, "Stall her!"

"How do you want me to stall her?" Dean cried out, looking to Mary who was just standing there, looking at Dean as she held both hands together in front of her, "What do I do?"

"I don't know! Stall her!" Castiel said as he round the bottom of the steps to the main floor. Dean ducked back in the living room and looked at Mary. He did the only thing he could do. He moved forward and pushed Mary back onto her bottom gently. But this action only caused Mary to cry.

"What did you do?" Castiel said, frowning as he slipped into the room, his feet still wet.

"You told me to stall her," Dean said, watching as Castiel came forward to soothe Mary, "So I gave her a little shove?"

Castiel still frowned, lifting Mary up into his arms, "I told you stall her, Dean, not traumatize her. Now she'll never walk!" Dean groaned. Of course this was his fault. But it didn't stop them from being prepared.

With Mary beginning to walk, Castiel and Dean took the necessary precautions. They set up baby gates on the stairwell and in certain hallways, making sure she couldn't get into certain rooms. Castiel had Mary wearing her shoes more often around the house to help her keep her balance and they both took turns chasing her around the house as she learned to walk. Castiel and Dean both thought it was the most adorable thing on the planet. Castiel couldn't have been more happy.

Though, he was pretty sure the highlight of the beginning of the summer had to have been when Mary finally ate his cooking. Castiel sat in front of her highchair, eying her as Dean came into the room, "What's that? Homemade noodles?" he asked Castiel, looking to him curiously.

Castiel held the spoon out, "Yes it is," he stated, putting the spoon close to Mary's mouth, "Come on," he said politely, "Just one small bite," he pleaded, "She's the only person in this state who doesn't eat my cooking." Dean laughed to this, standing up right as he watched Mary open her mouth and close her mouth over the spoon. Castiel gasped, pulling the spoon out and jumping out of his seat, "She ate my cooking!" he cried out, suddenly finding himself hugging Dean tightly. Dean chuckled and returned the hug, letting go of the man the second he withdrew, taking his seat again to continue feeding Mary happily.

The grocery store was filled with people. But that wasn't what Castiel was noticing as Dean pushed the cart along with Mary in the seat designed for children. He was noticing the way a couple men were looking at him. More so, he was noticing the way Dean was looking at women and the way they were looking at him. He couldn't help but smirk as Dean rolled the cart to a stop and Castiel began looking at some fruit, "Now I understand why you didn't mind coming along."

Dean looked to Castiel and raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?"

"This is how you've been picking people up. You're using Mary, aren't you?" Castiel said, smirking as he eyed some of the oranges, "I want to see you do it," he suddenly found himself saying, eying Dean.

"Do what? Wait," Dean said, chuckling, "You want me to pick you up? I'm not going to pick you up."

"Oh, come on. Don't take away the fun," Castiel teased.

Dean shook his head, grabbing a granola bar type thing off the shelf. He looked at the name of it and looked to Castiel, "How do you say this properly?" he asked, "A-kai?"

Castiel looked over to the bar, "Acai," he said, pronouncing it properly.

Dean repeated after him, "Acai," he said, nodding, "You must have a way with languages," he joked, smiling to Castiel.

Castiel shrugged, "Not really. I know a few things here and there," but then his eyes fell on Dean and a smirk traveled across his lips, "Oh, ha, you're good. You're very good. I see how this works for you," he said, chuckling.

"Castiel?" a voice came from behind the both of them.

Castiel turned around and smiled when he saw Balthazar, "Ah! It's Balthazar," he said, turning to face Dean, "Mary's doctor, Balthazar." Dean looked to Balthazar curiously, raising an eyebrow. They were on a first name basis?

"Hey, Mary!" Balthazar said, smiling to the baby, he then stood up right and looked to Dean, nodding his head, "Balthazar," he said, extending his hand towards Dean.

Dean accepted it and shook it, "Dean," he said, still looking between Castiel and Balthazar curiously.

Balthazar looked between Castiel and Dean curiously and pointed to Dean politely, "Is this your, uh-"

"No!" Castiel said, looking back to Dean, then turning to face Balthazar, "No, no, no. We're not, um.. we just.." he was trying to figure out how to explain this properly.

Balthazar laughed, "It's complicated?"

Dean shook his head, "We raise Mary together."

"Yes!" Castiel said in agreement.

"You know, Castiel's really mentioned how much he really likes Mary's doctor," Dean began, "You know, several times. I just thought he meant that you were really good with kids. Now I can understa-"

"Dean, can you just.. walk away?" Castiel asked, turning his head to look at him and glaring, "Can you just give me a minute?"

"I'll be quiet," Dean said.

"Give me a minute," Castiel said again, his voice for authoritative this time. Dean nodded and took Mary, pushing the cart away from the two of them. Castiel let out a bit of an embarrassed chuckle and looked to Balthazar, "Sometimes Mary is more of a grown up," he joked.

Balthazar couldn't help his curiosity as he looked to Castiel, "So, how does this work between the two of you then? You just split up most of the work?" he was trying to understand what the two did - and Castiel registered this.

"Yes! We have a chart. A very big chart!" Castiel said with a big smile.

"A chart?" Balthazar said, smiling, "Does that chart give you any time off?"

"Yeah! Monday, Wednesday, and every other Friday," Castiel said, "Yeah, that's about it."

Balthazar shrugged a bit, "Well, do you have Mary this Friday?"

"No," Castiel said chuckling.

"Eight o'clock, Friday sound good?" Castiel blinked, looking to Balthazar. He hadn't expected that - but it definitely made his day so much better.

"That's great!" he said rather excitedly.

"My office has your information?" Balthazar said, sounding even more pleasant than before.

"They sure do," Castiel reassured.

"I'll call you then," Balthazar said as he turned and walked away.

Castiel started walking over to where Dean was, smiling brightly, "Okay!" he called as he walked up next to Dean. As he walked up next to him, he couldn't help but to continue chuckling, "You are so right," he said, looking to him, "This is a great place to meet people."

Friday night came quickly and Castiel couldn't have been more excited. He had spent a while getting ready, making sure he had on a nice outfit. He went with the usual - a casual suit. It was nice looking, but not too nice. Not in his eyes. He'd wanted to wear a tie, but Dean said not to. In the end, he'd worn the tie anyway. He wanted to wear it. And when the the doorbell rang, he headed towards the stairs.

Dean was following behind him, curious about the doctor, curious about what they were going to be doing or talking about, "Isn't there some kind of rule about this?" Dean asked as he followed Castiel, "Like, some kind of doctor and patient rule?" he asked.

Castiel laughed to this, "If he's dating his patients, then yes, Dean, there is a law being broken there," he shook his head, heading towards the bottom.

"So, is he going to tell you what percentile you are in then?" Dean continued, badgering Castiel like he had been most of the night.

Castiel just ignored Dean and opened up the door, "Hi," he said, smiling to Balthazar.

Balthazar nodded and entered, "You look, well, wow," he smirked, "I won't say anything. Nope," he looked over to Dean and Mary, giving them a smile as he extended his hand towards Dean, "And hello to you as well, Dean," he said, being polite.

Dean nodded and accepted the hand, "You know, he went through all his clothes before he finally found something to wear," Castiel glared at Dean as he spoke, "And also! He hasn't had any for a while, so-"

"Goodbye, Dean!" Castiel said, going out the door with Balthazar.

"Call me if you need me!" Dean cried out as Castiel slammed the door shut.

Castiel was walking with Balthazar down a back alley. They'd been talking about what they did, and he couldn't help but to crack a joke as they walked, "You know, if you wanted to bring me to a back alley to kill me, I know some good ones by my place."

Balthazar chuckled, "Nah, come on, right this way," he said, motioning towards a door that was open.

Castiel looked over to Balthazar curiously, "Backstage to a concert?" he mused.

"You don't like surprises, do you?" Balthazar said, chuckling again.

"I guess. I'm more of a control freak," Castiel replied, chuckling nervously as he stepped inside the doorway. Balthazar followed closely behind, leading him around a corner and then towards a doorway, "So, it's not a concert?" Castiel asked again, smiling as he looked to Balthazar. He was genuinely curious as to what was going on and where they were going.

"No, I'm afraid I'm not that cool," Balthazar smiled to Castiel, leading him through the doorway.

"This is..." Castiel started as they walked into a kitchen filled with working people.

"A restaurant?" Balthazar said, finishing Castiel's statement, "The Chef has three girls, so," Balthazar said, chuckling lightly, leading Castiel towards a table set up in the kitchen for two. It wasn't a loud kitchen, gosh no. Castiel was actually very taken back by the gesture. He found it to be incredibly sweet and kind. It was everything he wasn't used to and he _loved_ it.

Meanwhile, Dean was back at the house, thinking about what Castiel was doing, "I don't really do dinner dates," he said, biting his bottom lip for a moment, "What about you?" he asked, looking to Mary. She was sitting in the arm chair and Dean was sitting on the edge of the coffee table, holding her bowl of food, "You know, why don't we just relax and get to know each other?"

Dean looked to Mary, raising an eyebrow, "So, uh," he began, thinking as he watched her, "Do you live around here?" he chuckled after a moment of silence, "Upstairs? Really?" he smirked to this, "Wow, I just live right around the corner in the television room. I _knew_ I had seen you somewhere around here!"

He scooped up a spoonful of Mary's food and smiled to her, "Excellent choice going with the crushed watermelon, by the way," he said as he fed Mary some of it, "I'm sorry if I'm coming off as nervous," he shook his head, "I just don't usually meet babies like you, is all."

"To be honest, I, uh, well.. I like _older_ women," Dean shrugged, looking down to the bowl of food. Mary made a weird sound and he chuckled, "Well, not _that_ much older," he watched as Mary made a small face to his words and he reached forward, feeling her forehead. He let out a small sigh, "You are getting warm, kiddo."

Back at the restaurant, Castiel and Balthazar had both gotten their meals and were in the midst of eating, "I can't believe you've never eaten here," Castiel said, now that he knew where they were. He _loved_ the restaurant they were at. The food was incredible and the service was just as pleasant.

Balthazar finished chewing and swallowed his bite before he began speaking, "I never used to eat out much," he said, giving a small shrug, "My ex-husband cooked a lot, so we stayed at home most of the time," he said, keeping his eyes on his food. He hadn't spoken of an ex.

Castiel glanced up from his food, giving Balthazar a curious look, "You were married?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Like how I snuck that in there?" Balthazar said with a small smile.

Castiel chuckled, "Clever," he said. As he opened his mouth to continue speaking though, his cellphone began to ring and vibrate inside his pants. He sighed, shaking his head, "Sorry," he said, reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out his phone. He looked to the caller display and frowned, "Dean, I get one night off-"

"Look, I'm not calling for you, alright? I'm calling for Doctor Love," Dean said, a nickname he had coined for the man while he'd been badgering Castiel before.

"Alright, hang on," Castiel said, wondering what Dean was up to. But he held out the phone to Balthazar, "I'm sorry, he wants to talk to you. It must be an important question or something," Castiel said, feeling awkward.

Balthazar took the phone though, a puzzled expression on his face as he put the phone to his ear, "Hey," he started. Castiel was staring at Balthazar the entire time, fear starting to coat his face, "Yeah, it could be a couple things," he said into the phone, "Take her down to the ER and I'll give Dr. Braeden a call and let her know you're coming," Castiel's face began to pale. The ER?

Balthazar hung up the phone and looked to Castiel, handing it back over to him, "Mary's temperature spiked. He'll need to wait at least an hour to eval-"

Castiel cut him off, stuffing the phone back into his pants as he got to his feet, "We've got to go," he said, wasting no time.

Balthazar looked down to their food and sighed, getting up and following Castiel, "Or we could go."

When Castiel got to the hospital, it was just as Balthazar had said. They had to wait for the results or anything to come in. And when the results did come through, Balthazar was the one to explain it to both Dean and Castiel. He came back to their room with the paperwork in his hands he'd received from Dr. Braeden, "It looks like Mary's got a urinary tract infection," he said, giving them both a reassuring smile, "They're going to give her a antibiotic through the drip to get it into her system."

"Thank you," Castiel said, his voice coated with praise. Dean didn't say anything, he just nodded, looking back to Mary who was on the bed, small cries coming from her. He didn't blame her for not being happy. Why would she be happy? Hospitals sucked. Dean couldn't stand them. He didn't know if he would ever like them again.

As Balthazar stepped out of the room, Castiel followed, a permanent smiled on his face, "You know, I was looking forward to bringing you home," Balthazar said, chuckling to Castiel. But Castiel shook his head, not caring anymore. He stepped forward, pressing his lips to Balthazar's suddenly as he placed both of his hands to the man's cheeks. It was unexpected and completely unlike him, but he wanted to do it so damn badly.

Dean watched from inside the hospital bedroom, getting a small look of disdain when Balthazar touched one hand to Castiel's hip. He looked back to Mary, shaking his head, "The devil you know," Dean breathed out under his breath, smiling as he shook the duck around, bringing a smile to Mary's face.

When Castiel pulled away, Balthazar had a weird grin on his face, "That was even better than I had rehearsed," he said, smiling to Castiel, "So, I'll call you later," Balthazar said as Castiel stepped backwards.

Castiel nodded, "Yeah.. Thanks again," and then he returned to Mary's room.

In the morning when Castiel came downstairs, Dean was with Mary. He looked over to Castiel when he appeared, "Ah! Her temperature has already come down a lot," he said, smiling. But he noticed the look on Castiel's face and he raised an eyebrow, "What's the matter?" he asked, curious to Castiel's worry this time.

Castiel went to the island in the kitchen and put his finger on all the paperwork, "Daycare bills, the construction bills from the remodel at the restaurant, utilities," he sighed, running a hand through his hair, "And now a fifteen hundred dollar bill from the hospital," he looked to the flowers on the table and smiled a bit, then looked to Dean.

"Where did those come from?" Dean asked, having not noticed the flowers before.

Castiel glanced to the flowers, then shrugged, "They came from Balthazar. I still haven't called him back. I can't call him back like this," he said, looking to Dean - who only gave him a confused look in response, "Ugh. You don't understand, do you? I can't be this guy right now," he said, grabbing the vase of white lilies and moving them to the coffee table in the living room, "I'm a mess. I guess I can just patch up the wall at work and look at it again in a few years."

Dean frowned as Castiel sat down and he sat across from him, "You mean you're going to pull the plug on the remodel? You've wanted that for a while though," he said, remembering previous conversations with Castiel. He knew the man wanted to expand his business more than a lot of things right now.

"Yeah, but I can't afford to extend the construction loan."

Dean thought for a quick second, then leaned back in the chair, "I could give you some money."

Castiel glanced to Dean quickly, "What?"

"I could give you the money."

"No, I can't do that. I wouldn't allow you to do that, Dean," Castiel said in defense. He couldn't imagine why Dean would want to do something like that - but Dean just wanted to help. He wanted to be able to do something to help make Castiel feel better. And this was his way of being helpful.

"You know, accepting help doesn't mean you've failed," Dean said, leaning forward and resting his elbows against his knees, "It just means you are not in it alone."

"Uh.. I just.. I won't take it as a gift then," Castiel said, sitting up right and leaning forward now as well, "It has to be an investment."

"Fine! I can do that," Dean said, nodding his head.

"And as an investor, that entitles you to two percent of the profits," Castiel said smugly, chuckling a bit.

"Three percent," Dean teased.

"Two percent," Castiel corrected, "And, hey!" he said, suddenly turning on the cheery tone in his voice again, "A discount on food and wine!"

"What's the discount?" Dean asked curiously.

"Ten percent."

"Fifteen percent."

"Ten percent," Dean gave Castiel a curious look, "It's a great discount," Castiel assured, smirking.

"Fine. Then you throw in dinner," Dean said.

"Alright, deal! Awesome!" Castiel was ecstatic. He got to his feet and so did Dean - but he couldn't help but to throw his arms around him and give him a hug, "Oh my, just, thank you so much," he said, knowing he couldn't thank him enough. When Castiel pulled away, he patted Dean's shoulders, "Okay! Dinner, tonight, on me. You and me," he said as he walked out of the room.

That night, Castiel and Dean had gotten the nice babysitter Sam and Gabriel had usually used to come and watch over Mary while they went out for dinner. Castiel was dressed more casually this time. He was in a pair of jeans and a navy blue button up. He had on a dark green looking jacket over top. He figured after last time they had gone out, he wasn't dressing up like he normally would. Besides, going casual felt nice for a change and he wasn't sure why either.

He shrugged and walked over towards the living room, looking to the girl sitting with Mary. She looked over to Castiel and stood up instantly, "You look really good," she said, smiling to him.

"Thank you," Castiel said, hearing Dean's footsteps coming from behind him.

The girl blinked and realized what was going on and smirked, "Oh my god," she muttered out, watching the two carefully.

Castiel held out a piece of paper, "Here are all the numbers. My cellphone, his cellphone, the restaurant, and the pediatrician," he stated as she took the paper from him.

Both of them stood there awkwardly in front of her, neither of them moving. She rolled her eyes, giving off a light chuckle, "You do know that you both need to leave the house in order for me to do my job, right?"

"Yes," Castiel said, chuckling.

"Right," Dean said, moving towards the door.

"See you later then," Castiel said nervously, following Dean. Why did he seem so uptight about the evening to come? It was unusual for him. Either way, he was dressed properly for this event, he knew that much. Dean was dress in jeans as well and a button up. Seemed they had both had the same idea. He had no problem with this as they left the house, heading towards his workplace - after all, he had said that dinner was on him as a thanks for helping him out.

Dean had never been to Castiel's workplace. He'd never really had an interest until recently. And while they were there, he was shocked by it. It was nice and tasteful - something that he didn't think about often. He walked towards the back, peering into the kitchen where Castiel was making their dinner. He spent most of the time watching him chop up the ingredients, just watching his hands and his eyes focusing on what they were doing, "It looks good," he said, stepping into the kitchen.

Castiel glanced up and smiled, "Yeah, well it's a surprise. So get out," he teased, smirking to Dean as he continued working. Dean raised both hands in defense and turned around, leaving the kitchen. He went to the table Castiel had set up and he sat down at it, looking around. The whole place was intriguing to him. He shrugged to himself, waiting for dinner to come.

And when it did, it was absolutely _amazing_. He couldn't have been more impressed with Castiel's cooking. Not to mention the conversation had been completely civil the whole time. Dean was doing what he wanted to do - he was having dinner with Castiel and they were having a good time. When was the last time things had been like this for them? He remembered seeing Castiel kiss the doctor and it caused his stomach to curl a bit as he watched the man eat, watching each curve of his lips into a smile. Why was he so interested now?

When dinner finished, Castiel and Dean had come to an agreement. Dean was knelt down next to Castiel and his motorcycle and Castiel had on his helmet. The last they had been at this point, Castiel hadn't gone it. But now? Now he was on it. Dean set everything up, getting him to hold down the clutch, "Now, this is the clutch, here are your gears," he said, motioning to every single switch and the basics, "Now, I'm going to start her up, okay?" he said.

Castiel nodded, "Alright!" he called. He heard Dean put up the kickstand and he smiled brightly, "Look at me, on a motorcycle!" he cried out, laughing.

Dean shook his head, starting up the engine, "Just don't let go of the clutch until I get on the back!" he said over the noise of the engine.

"What?" Castiel said, having not understood.

"Don't let go of th-"

"Let go?" Castiel said loudly and released his hold on the clutch. The bike reared up and Castiel stumbled off of it backwards as the bike drove forward and eventually eased over sideways, sliding straight into some post boxes on the other side of the roar near a bus shelter. Castiel grimaced as did Dean, "Oh my god!" Castiel said, "I am so sorry!"

"It's okay," Dean said slightly breathlessly. His motorcycle. His baby. It was.. it was, "It's okay," he reassured Castiel just as a bus came without noticing the motorcycle on the ground. It ran straight into it, causing to go underneath the front fender of the bus and nearly get crushed by the front wheels.

Castiel gasped, "I am _so, so, so, so sorry!_" he said repeatedly, "Are you okay?" he looked to Dean, worried about him. He felt like such a moron as he looked to him - he'd just trashed Dean's motorcycle without meaning to!

"I'm just.. I need to sit down," Dean said, easing himself down onto the curb of the road. His eyes never left the motorcycle, grimacing all over again.

"Do you want me to go talk to the driver?" Castiel suggested, only to have Dean nod. He nodded and took off the helmet, making his way over to the other side of the road. Dean was just wondering why he'd done that, why he had let Castiel on it in the first place. He didn't blame Castiel in the least, he just felt like a complete and utter moron now.

When Dean and Castiel returned to the house, Castiel was still throwing out apologies as they approached the door, "I'll pay you, I promise," he said, stopping at the door as he looked to Dean. He truly felt awful. His first time trying to ride the damn thing and he had been so stupid! He wouldn't blame Dean for being mad at him in the least. He really wouldn't.

"Stop it," Dean said, placing his hands on Castiel's shoulders, "It's just a bike. It's fine. Don't worry about it," he looked at Castiel, giving him a smile. He really did NOT blame Castiel - but he had a funny feeling he wasn't going to be able to convince him otherwise. The man was stubborn when he wanted to be.

Castiel gave Dean a curious look though, "Do you really mean that?" he asked, "Or are you just saying that to stop yourself from crying?" he teased.

Dean dropped his hands, rolling his eyes, "Get inside," he said with a smile. Castiel chuckled, opening up the door and heading inside. When they got to the living room, Mary was inside the playpen, fast asleep. It was adorable.

"I didn't want to wake her," they both looked towards the babysitter, "So, I just let her sleep there," they both nodded.

"That's fine," Castiel said, "Thank you for watching her tonight."

Before the girl could walk away, Dean looked to her, "Ah, here, for tonight," he said, handing her some money. She smiled, stopping to look at them as she took the money.

"You two make a really cute couple," and then she left.

Castiel looked to Dean and chuckled, "She said the same thing about those people in that Twilight movie," he shrugged and looked back to Mary inside the playpen. She looked so peaceful - but he could feel Dean's eyes on him.

Dean stepped in closer to Castiel, causing him to turn towards him. Castiel definitely had not expected this - but he was okay with as Dean leaned forward. He met with the action, leaning in and kissing Dean suddenly. His arms went around him and he felt Dean pull him close. Dean's hands slid up Castiel's sides and to his shoulders, moving to his was the furthest thing from both of them as she lay sleeping.

Castiel moved into the kiss, pushing at Dean's waist and guiding him backwards towards the stairs. When they reached the bottom, he shoved Dean into the wall unintentionally, moving himself against him in the process. Dean hadn't expected it, but he groaned in response, feeling the man before him against him. It was everything he wanted and more right then.

Castiel grabbed at the front of Dean's shirt, fiddling with the top two buttons before impatience flooded his body. He grabbed the bottom of Dean's shirt and pulled it up, helping him remove it. The second it was off, Dean leaned in and nipped at the bottom of Castiel's earlobe, earning a hesitant breath of approval. Dean smirked, turning the tables now as he grabbed Castiel's thighs and lifted them. Castiel immediately understood and wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, his arms going around his neck in the process.

As Dean got to the top of the stairs, he rounded the corner, their lips sealed in another heated kiss. Castiel's hands slid up the back of Dean's neck and curled into his hair, deepening the kiss as his back suddenly pressed against the door to the bedroom. He removed one hand from Dean's hair and slid it down, trying to find the doorknob as Dean pressed against him. Castiel tightened his legs around Dean's waist, keeping him close as he found the doorknob and turned it.

The door swung open and Dean was just able to keep his balance as they moved towards the bed. He dropped Castiel onto his back and crawled on top of him, making quick to undo the buttons of the man's shirt. He leaned forward and kissed at Castiel's exposed chest, moving downwards as he did so. Castiel bit his bottom lip, raking a hand in Dean's hair, gripping it as he did so. But as he looked around the room he realized something, "Wait, wait, wait," he said, sitting up a bit.

Dean looked towards Castiel, wondering if he was about to bow out. If he was about to realize that he didn't want this and it was just a heat of the moment type thing. But then he noticed Castiel looked around and clicked in, "This was their room," he said under his breath. They had never touched this room - they had always stayed out of it.

"It's gorgeous," Castiel said, taking in the soft bedding, "I love it," but then Dean was kissing downward again and he laughed, dropping his head back onto the bed as Dean kissed at the hem of his jeans. The man was going to be the death of him at this rate. Though, as he felt Dean's fingers on the button of his jeans, undoing them, he couldn't help but to be happy that this was happening.

Dean pulled at Castiel's jeans, wanting them off. Castiel helped by arching himself on the bed a bit, allowing Dean to pull them free. He could feel the growing need to be closer to Dean, to feel his body against his own. But his back was to the bed and Dean was kissing at the hem of his boxers now like he had with his jeans, creating goosebumps. His lips were soft against his skin and he had an incredible warmth.

Castiel groaned when Dean suddenly bit his hipbone, arching his back. Dean smirked, biting harder, experimenting on Castiel. The man responded with another groan, gripping Dean's hair all over again, "_Dean_.." Castiel hissed, "Quit teasing.." but the truth was, he liked the teasing. He _loved_ it. It was perfect.

Dean inched the boxers down until they exposed Castiel completely and his partially hardened erection. Dean looked up to Castiel as he, without warning, ran his tongue along the base of his cock until it got to the tip, tonguing the end of it. It sent chills up and down Castiel's back and he arched himself towards Dean. He moved his hips towards him once more, wanting more, needing more, _craving_ it.

Castiel's free hand gripped the comforter on the bed when Dean took hold of his cock with one hand, his mouth taking in the tip. He shuddered to the sensation, pulling on Dean's hair, wanting more. But Dean didn't oblige, no, he took his time, swirling his tongue around the head before moving down further along Castiel's shaft. He groaned, feeling Dean place both hands on hips to hold him down as he moved down the length of Castiel's cock, relaxing his throat.

Castiel groaned as Dean went back up, dragging his teeth along his shaft, "_Fuck_," he seethed, moving his hips against Dean's grasp. He had imagined Dean was good - but not like _this_. The teeth going against his skin was sending indescribable chills; but then Dean took him whole again inside his mouth, causing Castiel to arch his back, trying to move his hips towards Dean.

Castiel felt his cheeks flushing because the things Dean had been doing, the way he was making him feel. He was close - and he wasn't normally like this. He bit his bottom lip, groaning softly when Dean pulled his hands away, wrapping one hand around what his mouth could not cover. Dean's other hand took hold of Castiel's testicles and began massaging them in time with the head movements he began, going up and down along Castiel's cock, his hand working in time.

Castiel thrust his hips towards Dean's mouth, letting out a heavy breath. He could feel himself growing close and he fought to hold it back as Dean continued. But the way his tongue went around his shaft, his teeth teasing as they casually dragged along his length every now and then. Castiel gripped the comforter tight, his other hand tangled in Dean's hair as he felt his body overheat and his shoulders begin to quake.

Dean felt Castiel come inside his mouth and he took it all in, swiping his tongue along Castiel's tip, cleaning it with his mouth. He smirked, hearing the panting coming from Castiel as he regained composure after his orgasm. Dean stood up right and crawled over top of Castiel, looking down to him.

Castiel looked up to Dean, his cheeks flushed. He reached a hand up, touching Dean's cheek, "It isn't fair you know," he whispered into the darkness of the room. Dean raised an eyebrow, curious to what he was talking about, "I'm naked and you still have your jeans on," he reached forward and unbuttoned them, "So, why don't I return the favour?" he asked, smirking as he began to unbutton Dean's jeans.

As Castiel was about to reach his hand inside Dean's pants, a shrill cry traveled throughout the house, causing them both to jump. Dean dropped his head to Castiel's shoulder as Mary began to cry downstairs and he couldn't help but to laugh, "Of course," he breathed against his neck. Castiel said nothing and only laughed, watching as Dean stood up right and buttoned his pants back up, looking to Castiel, "I'll be right back," he said and left the bedroom.

Castiel sat up right, watching Dean disappear out of the bedroom and downstairs. His mind wandered over what had just happened, what was happening, and what was going to happen. He wondered what this meant. Were they a couple now? He shook his head, smacking his forehead suddenly, "Stop thinking this way," he said, dropping back on the bed. When Dean came back upstairs, he would be calm. That's all there was to it. And what had just happened, "Wow..." he breathed out.

Dean was spooning Castiel, his arms wrapped around him and holding him closely as they laid there in bed. They both had been silent for quite a bit of time, but Castiel broke the silence, smiling from beneath the blankets, "Do you think they planned this?" he asked, pushing back against Dean a bit.

Dean kissed at the back of Castiel's head, smirking, "What? Us?" he chuckled to the thought, "No. Definitely not," he kissed the back of his neck now, "They tried that once before," he said quietly, "We know how that worked out."

"I kind of it get it now, though," Castiel said.

"What? Why they set us up?"

Castiel nodded, "Yeah, I never understood it before, but now that I know you better.. well, I can see what Gabriel was thinking. You two have a lot in common, believe it or not," he said, nudging Dean as best as he could.

"With Gabriel?" Dean asked curiously.

"Yeah. You would think it would have been Sam, but it's Gabe you remind me of more," Castiel said, being honest. He turned in Dean's arms so he could face him, looking at him with a smile, "He was just so fun and easygoing, you know?" Dean placed a hand against Castiel's cheek and leaned over, kissing him on the lips gently. They both fell asleep after that, nuzzled against each other in something that was completely unexpected and new. Something that neither of them knew the meaning of.

The next day, Dean was at work, sitting with his colleagues in the garage. He looked to Chuck who was giving him a shocked expression, "Dean, you're my only single friend. You're the last link I have to the outside world," he said, giving off a sarcastic chuckle, "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know why we did," Dean said, shrugging, "We just did."

"Do you know what marriage is like, Dean?" Chuck asked him. Dean just looked at him and raised an eyebrow, "It's like prison. Ask my ex, Becky," he said, shaking his head. Dean knew the Chuck and Becky story all too well.

"We're raising a child together, Chuck. We aren't married," Dean said, frowning a bit.

"Yeah, and that is about as married as you can get."

Dean opened up his mouth to respond, but his boss appeared, calling his name. He turned to look at him and got to his feet, "Yeah?" his boss motioned for him to come into his office. Dean felt like he was about to be told he was losing his job, that he had screwed up royally last time.

"You know, I gave you a nice break and you messed it up pretty bad. Zack's car was a mess," he said as he sat down behind his desk.

Dean nodded, "I know, I know."

"And now I have to ask myself if I should give up on you or give you another shot."

"I would like to go with that second one," Dean suggested with a small smile.

His boss gave a bit of a chuckle, looking to him, "You want another shot? Because you seem to be in more than one place these days, Dean. I don't know if I can risk you being everywhere."

Dean shook his head, taking a seat in front of his boss' desk, "No, I can definitely be in one place," he said, nodding his head reassuringly.

"Can you be in Phoenix?" Dean looked at him with a blank expression, confused, "A spot opened up for running the business down there. I got asked who I thought should fill in the space. I want to suggest you, Dean," Dean looked to his boss, completely confounded by the offer, "Go on, get out of here. I want you think about it," he stood slowly, making his way out of the office.

Phoenix?

Castiel had been looking forward to the block party in their neighbourhood. Everyone had been talking about it for a while. And him and Dean were taking Mary with them. He smiled, not bothering to bring a stroller. It didn't seem necessary when they were going to be right by the house the whole time. He looked to Mary and Dean as they headed out the door - their first pit stop to be getting their faces painted. He sat on the grass, letting Mary get her face painted first.

Both of them chuckled, Dean being last to be painted as a cat. They were all being painted as cats. Dean glanced to Castiel, sighing, "You know, if anyone I know saw me like this, I'd never live it down," he joked.

Castiel shook his head, "Oh yeah? Would that be so bad?" he teased.

Dean was about to respond, but he heard his name being called, "Dean? Dean Winchester? Hell, I didn't know you were living around here," someone said, chuckling.

Dean and Castiel both looked towards the voice and he blinked, "Jo?" he said, smiling suddenly to the appearance of an old friend.

"Yeah. I heard about Phoenix," she said, smiling to Dean, "Congratulations."

"What about Phoenix?" Castiel said, looking to Dean.

"Well, we're still talking. It's nothing," Dean felt an awkward tug in his throat as the woman finished painting his face.

"That's not what he said. The way he's talking, it's a done deal," Jo said, crossing her arms and looking to him curiously.

"What deal?" Castiel rephrased his question, eying Dean carefully.

Dean shook his head, chuckling lightly, "It's not."

Jo shrugged, starting to walk away, "Congrats either way, Dean."

Castiel looked to Dean, not sure what he should be thinking. He eyed him carefully, looking to Mary in his arms. Was he thinking about leaving? Did he want to leave? He actually felt pained by this knowledge, looking to him as they all got up and walked towards the long table of food, "Out with it, Dean," he said, just wanting it to be over with if he was truly thinking of leaving.

Dean had been worried about this, but he didn't know what to do. It was the offer of a lifetime in his eyes, but he didn't want to truly leave Mary. He couldn't. And then there was Castiel, "It doesn't matter," he said, trying to avoid the subject as he grabbed a plate and began to fill it up successfully with Mary in his arms.

Castiel frowned, just grabbed a thing or two with his hands without a plate. He wasn't feeling that hungry anymore, "If it doesn't matter and you aren't doing whatever you thought about doing in Phoenix, you can tell me," he said, his eyes still on Dean.

"I got a job offer in Phoenix to manage one of the big sites there. It's a great offer, but I'm not going to do it," Dean said, even though he'd thought about it. This was something he'd always wanted. Something he would look forward to under normal circumstances.

Castiel scoffed a bit, "But you're thinking about?"

"No. I'm not," Dean reassured.

Castiel sighed, "If you aren't thinking about it, then how come you never told me?"

"Because I'm not going to do it, so it doesn't matter," Dean just wanted to drop the subject. He didn't want to continue talking about it.

"I'm trying to understand why you didn't tell me if it isn't even a possibility."

"I didn't want to upset you."

"If you didn't want to upset me, why didn't you tell me?" Castiel watched Dean's plate and he sighed, "You know, Dean, could you just stop with the food for one minute, please?" Castiel wanted to talk about this. He wanted to know what was going on, he wanted to know if he was going to end up alone. He took hold of Dean's plate and set it down on the table, looking to him, "Can you just tell me honestly if you're thinking of taking this job?"

Dean stood there for a second, glancing down to Mary. With everything they'd been through over the last little while, he was worried about answering this question. This was something he'd wanted to for so damn long now, and here he was, so far from it. He nodded, looking to Castiel, "Yeah, I'm thinking about it. This is something I've been waiting for, something I've been working towards. I would have jumped at this opportunity before."

Castiel was stunned, a shocked look appearing on his face, "Before Mary and before me?" he asked, unable to stop the question from leaving him. He just wanted to know, but when Dean said nothing he felt the hurt rising inside him, "I get," he said, leaning forward and taking Mary from Dean's arms, "Really, I do," he said, beginning to coo at Mary and smile.

"Cas..." Dean started.

Castiel turned away from him and started walking away, "How was this going to work exactly, Dean? Were we going to go with you, or were you just going to leave?" and now he was annoyed.

Dean groaned and followed closely behind as Castiel walked, "I don't know, okay?" he wasn't used to being in this type of situation, "I never had to think for three people before, hell, I barely had to think for one. It's just an _offer_, okay?"

"No it's not."  
>"It's jus-"<p>

"No it's not, Dean!" Castiel turned to face him, "It's exactly what you've wanted, isn't it? A clean out."

Dean frowned, "That's not true."

"Yes, it is," Castiel said, nodding, "You never wanted to be here, and after everything, all of this, you still think of us as some temporary thing."

"Oh, you think that I'm not in this?" Dean said, crossing his arms, "I gave up my place. I gave up my motorcycle. I gave you money for the restaurant."

"I never asked you for the money, Dean!" Castiel snapped back.

"I did it to make you happy, okay?" Dean said, looking down at first. His eyes quickly settled on Castiel before glancing around him, "I gave up everything to play this freaking part."

Castiel snorted, "Play this 'part'? That's what this is to you?"

"Well, we're living in their house, we're sleeping in their bed, we're raising their kid. We're acting like we're married, but we're not."

"Have you been pretending with Mary?" Castiel suddenly said.

"No, I love Mary," Dean said defensively.

Castiel laughed a bit, looking down, "So, just me then?" Dean was taken back, watching as Castiel turned and walked up the driveway to the house, "You should take the job, Dean." Dean watched as Castiel disappeared inside the house, but he didn't follow. He stayed outside, turning on his heels to look at everyone. Maybe taking the job was best with everything going on. He didn't fit in here... he tried, but it just wasn't working.

By the time autumn rolled around, it was just Castiel and Mary living inside the house now. And as much as it had hurt Castiel when Dean had left in the beginning, he was now okay with it. It didn't hurt as much anymore because he had Mary, who he could hear letting out a small cry from the living room as he got her breakfast ready, "Hold on, Mary! I'm coming!" he called, smiling as he got her food into the bowl.

As he turned around, Mary was being led in by someone else. He smiled to Balthazar, "Ah, thank you," he said, chuckling.

"I knew you'd be right up to your eyes with things, so I thought I'd grab her for you," Balthazar said, moving to the other side of the kitchen. Castiel nodded and placed Mary up on the chair before beginning to feed her some of the mushed banana in her bowl, "Alright, I've got to head to work," he said, watching as Castiel set the bowl down to look at him, "If I'm even close to being a minute late, the twins coming in today will redecorate my office."

Castiel chuckled and moved forward towards him, noticing Mary grabbed the spoon out of her bowl as he shared a kiss with Balthazar, "So, I'll see you later?" Balthazar said as he pulled away. Castiel nodded, mumbling a yes as he moved in for another quick kiss. He chuckled when Balthazar returned it just as there was a crash behind him. They both winced and he looked behind him.

"I've got it, go to work," Castiel said with a smile. Balthazar nodded, shaking his head as he moved around Castiel and kissed Mary on the top of the head, saying bye before leaving the room. As Castiel stood there, eying the mess Mary had just made with a smile, he thought about Dean. Sure, he was where he was now and he was alright - but he didn't know if he was truly happy. He missed Dean, he wouldn't deny it. Sure, it didn't hurt as much, but it still hurt.

They had worked something out though. Dean was coming back for Thanksgiving weekend and was going to be taking Mary. So, when he showed up at Castiel's work, he felt that same lump in his throat he'd felt when Dean had looked at him that night before kissing him. It was strange, but he could still taste his lips and smell the air. He could still remember what it felt like to be cuddled into him on his brother's bed. But he didn't want to remember, he needed to let it go.

"Mary!" Dean called as he entered the store, smiling to her. Mary looked towards him and let out a shrill cry of a giggle before running towards Dean. He scooped her up in his arms and chuckled, "Someone is getting _huge_," he cooed to her, kissing her forehead.

Castiel smiled to Dean from behind the counter, finishing up with a customer, "She's gotten big, hasn't she?" he said, making his way around to the other counter. Dean followed from the other side of the counter, nodding his head, "So, here's her things," he said, lifting up a couple bags and setting them on the counter.

Dean nodded and took both bags, "Alright, I'll see you later then," he said, turning to leave.

Castiel didn't want him to leave, "Hey, Dean?" he asked, watching as Dean stopped to turn and look at him, "Balthazar and I are hosting a Thanksgiving dinner if you want to come. The neighbours will be there and the guys have been asking about you and-"

"Sure," Dean said - he would love to go, "It sounds nice," but it truly sounded excellent, "You cooking?" he asked, smirking. He missed the taste of Castiel's cooking. He missed the smile that was on the man's face right now. He missed causing that smile. It was strange to him. Even though he was living in Phoenix, he'd been watching kid's television programs to remind him of Mary and Castiel. He couldn't not. He just wasn't into everything like he used to be anymore.

"Definitely," Castiel said, glad Dean was coming.

When Dean showed up that night for Thanksgiving, he had Mary with him and a cheap bottle of wine. He had contemplated not showing up a few times. Hell, he'd even work beige slacks and a light blue dress shirt. It wasn't like him, but he wanted to be good for this. He knew it was a nice event they were having. He wanted to look good, he supposed. Or maybe Castiel had rubbed off on him?

He shook his head, ringing the doorbell and watching as Castiel answered the door. Mary cooed in response, allowing Castiel to chuckle as Dean handed over the wine, "Here you go," he said, setting Mary down and watching her run inside. Well, more like waddle. It was cute eithe rway.

"Thanks."

"It was nine bucks," Dean teased.

Castiel smiled, shaking his head as Dean stepped inside. He closed the door behind him, hearing Dean's name being called by some of the neighbours. He watched as Dean waved, "I'll be in the kitchen," Castiel said, disappearing down the hallway. Dean couldn't help but to watch him from behind as he disappeared. Things had certainly changed, and this was definitely awkward.

Dean had been talking to a couple of the guys when Balthazar had appeared, smiling to Dean, "Hey, glad you could make it," he said to Dean, shaking his hand.

Dean nodded, "Well, technically it's my house, so I'm glad _you_ could make it," he joked right back.

Balthazar chuckled, "I know this is a tad weird."

"It's not weird," Dean said, trying to be reassuring."

"It's a little weird," one of the neighbours said.

"The house," Balthazar said, "We're all a part of it. Especially you."

Now Dean felt awkward, "Yeah, we're all fans of the house."

"Hey," one of the guys said, patting Dean's shoulder, "Dinner today is a great way for us to say goodbye, right?"

Dean looked back, then to Balthazar, confusion coating his face, "Am I missing something?" the second he found out what was going on, he went to the kitchen, closing the door behind him as he looked to Castiel, "You're selling the house?" he said angrily, "When were you going to tell me about this?"

Castiel sighed, "After my meeting with..." he stopped, looking to Dean, then shook his head, grabbed a bowl of food he had finished preparing, bringing it away from the kitchen counter and to the table, "This house is too big, Dean. The upkeep costs too much, you know that."

Dean scoffed, "I'm paying my half."

"And I appreciate that, but it still isn't enough."

"You should have asked me, Cas."

"Oh?" Castiel said, continuing to bring other items to the kitchen table, "Like you asked me about moving to Phoenix?"

"You are _not_ selling this house," Dean said firmly, "They wanted her to grow up here."

"What they wanted," Castiel said angrily, "Was for you and I to raise her. And who walked away from that obligation?" he said, glaring at him.

Dean grimaced a bit, glaring right back, "Well, you sure didn't waste anytime finding someone to hold the diaper bag, did you?"

Castiel laughed to this as he continued preparing, "Oh, really, you're going to try and make me feel bad?" he said, not making eye contact. He didn't want to. He was regretting inviting Dean now that he was there. He should have never said anything - this whole thing could have been avoided that way.

Dean leaned on the island in the kitchen, staring at Castiel, "From the beginning you wanted to do this all on your own, but you couldn't have done it without me. Not even ten seconds after I was gone you found yourself a replacement Dean."

"He is _NOT_ a replacement, Dean," Castiel stated defensively.

"Oh, I'm so sure."

"You know what?" Castiel said, smacking his hands down on the island, "He is NOTHING like YOU! Balthazar is _nothing_ like _you_," he said, hitting the island again. Dean stood up right, crossing his arms as he looked to the man before him, "He is warm, and he's kind," Castiel could hear his voice cracking and he was trying to keep himself under wraps, but he couldn't, "And he doesn't run at the first sign of something _real_."

"YES!" Dean cried out in response, "I ran! Overnight I suddenly had a house, and a baby and.. if..if..."

"IF WHAT?" Castiel yelled, growing tired of this.

"I was _scared_," Dean finally said.

"You don't think I was scared?" Castiel said, his eyebrows furrowing together.

"It was easier for you, Cas! You wanted this! You wanted the life that they had!"

Castiel shook his head, "Not the way that I got it. Holy crap, Dean, not the way I got it," Castiel rested his hands on the edge of the island, gripping it, "And certainly not with someone who didn't love me back!"

"But I did," Dean quickly said. His expression softened as he looked to Castiel, "Cas, I still do," he said, keeping his voice low now. Castiel looked at Dean in complete shock, not sure what to say. He hadn't expected Dean to say that.

Castiel shook his head, "No, you're right," he said, grabbing a bowl from the island and turning away from Dean, resting it in the kitchen sink, "We were just _pretending_ to be them," he rested his hands against the kitchen sink, unable to turn around, "We were just using each other to get through everything, and we don't need to pretend anymore, Dean. It's done," his voice was cracking, he just wanted this to be over with, "I don't want to fight with you, please."

Dean sighed, looking to Castiel's back, "I'm going to go back to Phoenix," he said, pausing briefly. When Castiel didn't say anything he stood up right, "You can handle this on your own. It looks like you've got things figured out here without me," and then he headed out of the kitchen.

When Castiel turned around, Dean had just left the kitchen. He took in an uneven breath, looking down to his shaky hands, "Damn it," he breathed out, wiping at his eyes. He shouldn't have asked him to come. What did he expect? What the hell did he expect? And now Dean _did_ love him?

Dean returned to the living room, noticing everyone looking at him. He could tell everyone had heard all of the fight. He gave off a small sigh, "Hey, everyone. Happy Thanksgiving," he said, nodding but not able to smile, "If any of you are ever in Phoenix, don't be afraid to look me up," he said, turning to face Mary who was sitting on one of the chairs in the living room. He gave her a smile though, lifting her up and out of the chair as she began to whine softly, "Sh~," he said, soothing her as he kissed the top of her head.

Balthazar didn't know what to say as Dean set Mary down and left without saying another word. He really didn't, and he could tell Castiel was still distraught when he came in with the turkey, setting it down on the table, "Alright," he said with a smile, forcing it, "Dinner is served," but no one moved right away. Everyone was just looking at Castiel. He felt awkward and shifted a bit, "Everyone, grab a plate. Eat. **Now**," he encouraged. Everyone stepped forward, glancing to each other as they grabbed a plate, taking their seats.

Balthazar looked to Castiel as people began serving themselves and instead of staying in the room, he disappeared, walking out. Castiel glanced to him, but didn't follow. He knew they would be talking later - which was exactly what happened as the night went on and he showed everyone to the door. He looked to Balthazar who was sitting on the couch, looking to him, "Yeah, okay," he said softly, "That was bad. I'm sorry."

Balthazar shook his head, "Maybe we did move too fast. You clearly have unresolved issues and feelings for him."

Castiel got defensive instantly, "Dean and I barely got along under the best of circumstances. And trust me, there weren't many of those."

Balthazar got to his feet, standing before Castiel, "If my ex-husband and I fought like that," he said, eying Castiel, "We'd still be married."

Castiel looked down, his eyes growing tired again. He'd been worried of this, "You know, before Sam and Gabriel died, you were exactly the kind of guy I wanted to be with. You were everything I was looking for," Balthazar cracked a smile, looking down at their feet, "I would lose time thinking about you and I didn't even know your name yet."

Balthazar nodded and leaned in, kissing Castiel's forehead, "I'll miss you guys," he said as he pulled away. Castiel opened his mouth to say something in protest, but Balthazar put a finger over his lips, "It's okay," he said and stepped back, heading to the door. Castiel stood there, watching as he left with a small smile on his face.

Now he was alone again.

Castiel heard Mary upstairs and he smiled, realizing he couldn't feel this way. He went up the stairs, going into her room and snagged a book from the shelf, "Why don't I read you something tonight, hm?" he asked, kissing the side of her head. He chuckled lightly, bringing her into his room and set her down with the book. She looked up to him, then the book, pointing to it with a small giggle, "That's right," he said.

Castiel flipped open the book, reading the title, "_The Velveteen Rabbit_," he said. He'd been shocked in the past when Mary had sat and listened to every word - or so it had seemed. He thought it would be too much for an infant, but either way - it was his favourite. So, there he sat, beginning to read Mary the Velveteen Rabbit for the hundredth time as she sat in his arms, "There once was a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. He was fat and bunchy, as a rabbit should be."

Mary leaned forward and pressed her finger to the rabbit, earning a solemn smile from Castiel. He missed Dean and he wished things hadn't turned out like this. He didn't know what else he could do though, "His coat was spotted and brown," he said softly, watching as Mary turned her head to him.

"Dadda," Mary said.

Castiel nearly choked on air as he looked to Mary, "No, no.. Cas," he said, sticking with the nickname Dean had given him. He'd never liked nicknames, but he had been okay with Dean calling him that. And now? Now it just stuck.

"Dadda," Mary repeated.

Castiel chuckled, thinking about the title. He pulled Mary close and kissed her cheek, only to end up blowing a raspberry there instead. She squealed and fell onto her side on the bed. Castiel smiled as he tickled her stomach, thinking about how it was okay that she called him that. There was nothing wrong with that, not now. After a few moments, he lifted her back into his lap, holding her close as he hugged her, "That's right," he said softly, soothing her into a calm state now, "I'm your dad," he said, smiling stupidly as he held her.

When morning came, Castiel sat at the breakfast table, done feeding Mary. He was thinking about the previous night as he let her eat the last couple bites of her cereal. Thinking about what Balthazar had said, and then about what Dean said to him. Dean had said he loved him. He looked to the picture above the fireplace and he felt that sudden lump grow in his throat again.

What was he doing? This was stupid.

Castiel got to his feet and grabbed Mary from her highchair, running upstairs with her to get her dressed, "Were going to get your other father," he said, looking to the time. Dean's flight didn't leave for a little while yet, he had time to get down there. He knew that.

Castiel was out the door in moments, and the second he had Mary buckled up in the backseat with her duck toy, he took off in his vehicle, backing out of the driveway. He grabbed his phone from the cup holder in the vehicle and dialed Dean, placing the phone to his ear.

Dean was at the airport, going through security. He grabbed his jacket from the rubber bin, pulling it back on. Next was his phone, "Here you are, sir," the security man said to him, handing him a couple other things from the bin. Dean shoved his phone in his pocket, nodding as he took the items, not feeling the vibrations in his pocket.

Castiel groaned as he sped down the highway, "Damn it, Dean! Answer your phone," he said, glancing in the rear view mirror. Mary was babbling to herself, causing Castiel to smile as he drove, picking up the pace somewhat. He looked to the time, taking in a deep breath.

Dean sat in the waiting area, looking down at his laptop. He'd been looking at random crap, trying to pass the time. But he caved and opened up his documents, double clicking on a video he had saved. He smiled as it opened up and a video of Mary taking her first steps started playing. Castiel's voice was heard in the background of the video, "_July sixth, Mary's first steps!_" he laughed.

Dean couldn't help but to smile stupidly the whole time, watching Mary. And then the video was focused on Castiel sitting on the couch for a minute. His eyes found Cas' blue eyes and he swallowed hard, "Who's the little girl?" a voice came from beside him.

When Castiel got to the airport, he ran up to the line for tickets, groaning. This was going to take forever. He looked around for some type of shortcut, but there wasn't. He looked up at the screens, holding Mary in his arms. There were no delays and it hadn't left yet. He still had time...

Dean nearly jumped, but he looked to the older woman sitting next to him and he smiled, "She's my daughter," he said proudly, looking back to the screen now paused on Castiel's face, "They're my family," he said. But, was that what they were? Castiel was moving on and Mary was doing well. He didn't think he was needed - it didn't seem that way, anyway.

Castiel got up to the desk, Mary in his arms still, "I need two tickets that get me as close to the 'T' terminal as possible," he said, pulling out his credit card and placing it down on the desk before him. The man behind the desk nodded and looked down at the list in front of him. After Castiel got the tickets, he took off to security, only to get slowed down because he had to remove Mary's shoes.

Finally free of security clearances, Castiel made his way to the terminal, going as fast he could with Mary. She was making muffled sounds against him, and saying other things in baby speak. He focused on getting down there, thinking about all the things he was going to say to Dean. The things he needed to say. And the biggest thing he wanted to say?

That he was sorry.

But when Castiel got to the terminal, he was greeted with a bunch of empty seats and a walkway that had no plane outside the big windows. He froze in his footsteps, his hands beginning to shake as he kissed the side of Mary's head, "It's okay, baby girl," he said, staring outside the window, "It'll be okay," but he didn't know who he was truly trying to reassure as he soothed Mary who had begun to fuss.

Maybe he was _supposed_ to be alone.

Castiel pulled back into the driveway, staring at the house. Mary had fallen asleep on the way back to the house, which was fine as he sat there, eying the walls he could see. He sucked in a deep breath suddenly and began to cry, unable to help it. Maybe things were supposed to be this way. Maybe he was destined to be alone. He dropped his head to the steering wheel as he killed the engine, trying to keep his sobs quiet as he curled his arms over top of his legs.

Why had he fallen in love with a man who so incredibly not right? Dean wasn't what he had wanted in the beginning. But damn it, now he was. He was everything he wanted. He could think of a thousand reasons why it would never work - but it didn't matter to him. The man had shown him something in himself he hadn't found in a long time. True happiness. And Balthazar tried to give him that, but it wasn't good enough. Dean was the only person who could make him feel this way.

Castiel sniffled, sitting up and wiping at his eyes. He eyed the rear view mirror and saw the state of his face and frowned, getting out of the vehicle, "Better get Mary inside," he told himself, opening up the back door. Maybe he would be okay, right? Raising Mary on his own. He'd been doing alright and he had lots of friends who would support him. Castiel would sell the house and move into a two bedroom apartment. It seemed like the most logical thing to do.. besides.. the house held too many painful memories, things he didn't want to think about.

He sighed, shutting the back door after getting Mary free and headed inside through the back door. Her playpen was set up in the usual spot and he set her down in it immediately, handing her the car keys with a smile, "Want the keys?" he asked, chuckling as she took them. He wiped at his eyes again, making sure the tears had disappeared as he walked towards the living room, hearing the rattling coming from the keys.

"How could you have been so _stupid_?" Castiel chided himself, slipping his jacket off as he looked up, only to jump and nearly yelp as he caught sight of someone sitting in the arm chair. He took in a deep breath, putting a hand to his chest, "Jesus christ, Dean," he said, looking to him. Though, as jumpy as that had made him, he was so happy to see him. He didn't show it yet as he walked towards him, watching as Dean got to his feet, a strange look on his face.

"Look, before you saying anything," Dean started, making sure to get his head together, "I finally figured out why Sam and Gabe got us together," he said, looking to Castiel, his eyes never leaving his, "It's not because we fit the part or any crap like that," he said, shaking his head, "It's because somehow, you, Mary, and I.. we're a family," he was nervous and his voice was shaking.

But Dean kept going, "And when I'm gone, I don't just miss her or you," he took in a small and shallow breath, trying to keep himself calm and steady, "I miss us, I miss our family," Castiel couldn't help but to give a smile - these were the words he had wanted to hear come from Dean this whole time, "And I know that we have it all backwards," he cracked a smile to this himself, "We're supposed to meet someone and then fall in love and then have a baby - but _I don't care_," he said, nodding his head to Castiel, "I don't care that it came backwards or how the hell it happened, Cas, because I fell in love with _you_. I fell in love with our family."

Castiel took a second to respond, thinking over Dean's words. He was never one to speak like this, anyone knew that - so, to hear these words coming from Dean, it made Castiel incredibly happy, "I was at the airport, Dean."

Dean couldn't help but grin and step forward, "Did you plan some sort of trip that I'm not aware of?"

"No," Castiel said, shaking his head with a stupid grin on his face.

"Oh, well," Dean stepped closer again, "Did you hear me say I love you? Cause I can say it again," he teased.

Castiel chuckled, "Okay."

Dean rolled his eyes, moving forward, "I lo-" Castiel cut him off, closing the gap between him as his hands touched Dean's shoulders and he kissed him. He'd wanted to feel his lips against Dean's for so long now, wanted to be closer to him like they had that night. He felt Dean's arms go around him and pull him closer and he allowed it. But their kiss was interrupted by a loud coo coming from behind them in the playpen.

Castiel broke away from the kiss laughing. Dean smiled, not letting go of him as he held onto him, "You know she called me dad?" Castiel said, looking to Dean.

Dean looked shocked, but he smiled, "Good," he said, kissing the corner of Castiel's lips, "I'm glad. Jealous," he teased, earning a smile from Castiel, "But glad. Out of the both of us, I think you would have killed me had she called me that. But.. does that make me the mother?" Castiel broke away from Dean and whacked his shoulder playfully, "Hey, hey," Dean laughed.

Castiel turned and began to walk towards the playpen, stopping to look back at Dean, "You can be whatever you want to be, so long as you're in her life," he said, smiling to Dean, "Either way, I'm glad you are here... I'm glad you're here to stay," Dean nodded, following Castiel as he headed towards the playpen. And he was there to stay. He wanted to make it work and be with the two most important people in his lives. For them and for him. Because they made him happy.


End file.
